The ups and downs

Insomniac

*pov of Daisy*
I couldn't make sounds, all I could manage was breathing loud and heavy. I heard footsteps coming towards me. I was trapped in my own mind, what was coming to me?

I felt two hands grab my shoulder and something go on top of me. I wanted to scream. I screamed as loud as I could but barely made a sound. I suddenly was being shaken.

My eyes flew open and I saw a concerned Oli on top of me shaking me. I looked around and saw nothing, it was all some twisted fucking dream fantasy thing. I felt all the trapped tears falling from my eyes.

"Are you okay love?" I nodded and sat up putting my arms around him," I-I think I have sleep paralysis Oli. It was so scary I thought- doesn't matter I didn't like it." I said like a child. I realized I was still shaking despite being held in Oli's arms.

He stroked my hair," it's okay love, it's all fake. Just know that. I have it too, but I haven't had it for a while; thankfully." He consoled me until we both fell back asleep.

-skip to Oli's last day------
I took my classes off today, Oli was leaving. I haven't been sleeping lately, I don't want another night terror. I also want to be with Oli every waking moment.

I made some pancakes and coffee while he was still asleep. It was only 6, I decided to go on a run. I've been running basically everyday but often at night or early morning. I changed into a pair of black capris and a black tank top with a pink heart on it. I left a note saying I'd be back in 45 minutes.

I came back from my run a sweaty mess, next time less black. I saw Oli was awake and reading the note, "geez, see you want to already want to be alone. Even though I'm leaving tonight." He said when I closed the door," Yup I've just been dying to be all alone in this apartment. This sketchy ass apartment." I said with a snort.

We ate pancakes with banana slices and downed it with coffee. We were both going on a hike in this beautiful trail I saw online. I'm excited and he is too.

The trail was even more breath taking in person. It was only around 5 miles which isn't bad. We finished on a mountain of sorts so we decided to sit there and chill for a bit.

Oli started to hum a song, I joined in. Next thing we knew both of us were singing Heart Shaped Box by Nirvana. Then we both ended up dancing around to some music like idiots until people started to show up.

We both began our walk down when he pulled me into the forest," I want you." He said forcing me against a tree and kissing me. One thing led to another and well I had sex off a hiking trail.

We went out for lunch, which was this vegan place that we hadn't tried yet. It was pretty good honestly. But Oli had a better dish than me, he always did.

Soon it was 7 pm and Oli began to pack up. "Have fun with that I gotta go to the bathroom so brb." I walked to the bathroom and closed the door and sunk to the ground. I cried silently, I didn't want him to see me.

I came out a couple minutes later, "r-ready to go?" I asked with a little sniffle, oh God not this again. He wiped a tear that escaped his eye quickly," yup, let's go love." I drove him to the airport, did I mention I bought a car? I named it Beth, it's a minivan.

We got there and I walked him as far as I could. "Oli call me when you land in Boston and London. I-i love you. Be safe." I tried to hold myself together," okay love. I love you too. You're coming to London for your holiday in December, so I'll see you in a couple months." He put my hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead.

We kissed and said a couple more goodbyes and he left. He looked back at me one more time and I waved to him, don't cry. He looked sad, he sulked to security and he was gone.

I got to my car and balled my eyes out for a solid ten minutes. I cleaned myself up and drove home.

I got home and walked in, I wish Oli was here to greet me; like a happy puppy. I put in some earbuds and sat on the couch. I looked through the photos of us on the phone and smiled.

I went to bed early and was greeted by a sweatshirt Oli left, there was a note.

Hey love!
    By the time you are reading this I'm probably in the air. I miss you tons already. I love you to bits and I don't want you to be sad because I'm gone, I'll see you on your winter holiday. Also I left my sweatshirt here just in case you needed it.
                                          Xxx, Oli
I smiled at the note and quickly put on the sweatshirt. I took a deep breath and got the smell of him. I went in bed and laid down, I closed my eyes but couldn't sleep still. So I decided to study some for a test I had the next day. I kept smiling, I love you to bits was in my head. Does he really love me?