Undercover in Love

Alone with the pain

Part 35

Deeks pov

I went to my car and cryed. My heart and my soul hurt so much. I felt so cold inside. I left Kensi. This was all so bad. My heart get terrible stiches very minute again. I was so bad to her. She really tried to help me and I? I went away and didn't say something to her. I regreted it that I haven't said "I love you" one last time to her. A tear rolled down at her beautiful jaw and I didn't pulled it away like I did it usually when she started to cry. I felt so so bad. I drove home to my house and went into my bed to go sleeping. My biggest whish at this moment was that Kensi could be ther. That I coul embrace her awsome, perfect body with my arms and pull her so close as possible to mine. I wanted to feel her heartbeat and her breathe. I just wanted to kiss my happy girlfriend and strock her body. I just wanted that she was there...that she was on my side that I could protect her all the time and give her my infinite love.

Kensi pov

After Deeks left the room I cryed. My brain was racing abou whay did I wrong or what happened and something like that. I felt so bad. My heart get terrible stiches every second again and again and I felt so alone. I really didn't understand it. Deeks was so lovely all the time and so carefully. He was so softly and happy with me...with all. He was the loveliest man I knew in the world. And now? Deeks was so changed. His lovely character was changed into a cold and hard one. He didn't smile anymore and his lovely type was gone. Completely. I really didn't know what I did wrong. I love him so much. All these thoughts made me cry harder again and I ran away. Away from all...from everything.

Deeks pov

My heart was brocken and brooke every time when I thought about Kensi again. After I while I felt into sleep and had a very bad dream. I dreamed about that what happened to Kensi in the basment and my feelings at this moment. When the part in my dream came when Kensi died in my arms for some minutes I woked up and screamed. The memories all came back and it was so terrible. I woked up and my body was wet from my own sweat. My breathe was so fast and my mouth was dry. I took the wather bottle near me and drank something. I quickly turned around when my phone rang. At first I look at the clock and noticed that it was already 10.30am. I took the phone and said my name. "Deeks?" A cold shower came down on my back when the guy said something too. "Hello Det Deeks!" It was a creepy voice because it was changed with a technical programm or something like that. "Who's there?" I heared the person on the other phone a little bit laughing. "That's not important. I think you notice it because we had some contact before these little call. Do you remember my little brown letters?" I was so shocked. My heart stopped beating just like my breathe at this moment. I tried to spocke but at the first and the second time it didn't work very well. "What do you want dirty swine?!" "Ewww...that's hard. Why are you so unfriendly to me?" "You painted my girlfriend with blood...so I think I have many reasons to be unfriendly with you!" I was so angry and scary at this moment. "So what do you want?" The man from the Taliban smiled again. "I just wanted you to say that I just have a new exercise for you." I breathe for about three times after I was able to spoke again. "Which one?" "My exercise for you is a very easy one. I just have a friend in prison. His name is Anthon Moriss. He is a very nice man and he didn't something wrong. And now to your part. I just wanted you to do all to what are you able to to make that he came out of prison without any problems. And if you do it not...I think you exact now what will happen then to your little sunshine." My heart get a terrible stich in it. "I warn you if you touch her once again I will kill you!" "Haha...I am sure you will but don't stop to think about her." He took of the phone.

Kensi pov

Yesterday was just one of the hardest days in my life. My heart hurt all the time and I couldn't stop thinking about Deeks. When I came into the NCIS this morning I looked after him but he wasn't there. His desk was compleatly empty. "Hey Kens!" Sam and Callen came down the stairs and looked at me. I tried not to cry but I couldn't avoid some little tears im my eyes. "Hey guys..." Sam came closer to me and looked me in the eyes. He touched my head friendly. "Are you ok sweetie?" I looked at him and noticed that he was really worried. "Yeah sure..." And this was a big liar. And I just knew that Sam noticed that. "Where's Deeks." Callen looked at me and he was really worried too. I didn't know what to say at the first time. "Emmm...he didn't feel very good in the morning...I think he's a little bit ill so I just said that he sould take a rest and stay at home for today." I really didn't like it to lie at Sam and Callen but I jsut couldn't told them what happen because if I did it I probably would started to cry and when that would happened I just couldn't stop. I think that they both noticed that I laid to her but they didn't ask anything more. This is one thing I really liked on them. If Sam and Callen noticed that something isn't okay with me they asked me about it and when I laid about it and said that all is okay they didn't ask anything more but they were still always there for me. It felt like we were a friendly and of course lovely big family. And at such bad times like these it felt very good.

"Eric said we should come into OPS." Callen looked at me and smiled. We went up and Eric and Nell were already waiting for us. "Hey guys we got a new track."