The Choices We Make

Chapt. 2: Sleepless Nights

"Hi!" Jordan speaks though the phone once I pick up the receiver. I press the speaker phone button, then place it on top of the china cabinet in my kitchen.

"Hai," I respond in a sing-song voice. I continue to wipe down the counters. The kitchen is almost spotless like the rest of the house (with the exception of Jenelle's and mom's room). Cleaning is definently not something I enjoy doing, but I'd rather clean than live in filth. In this house, those are the only two options given that mom is so busy, and Jeni is so lazy. Ontop of that, they're both just slobs. When mom gets home from her job as a middle school teacher (which she describes as a living hell) she heads straight to bed for a 'short nap', only to wake up the next day to realize she'd overslept. Jeni is usually out with her friends all afternoon school. When she does come home after school, she's usually just watching T.V, or yapping loudly on the phone in her room. I pretty much have the whole house to myself after school lets out.

"What's up?" Jordan asks from on top of the china cabinet.

"Cleaning, like always."

"Of course. So I just called to ask-" Jordan starts, then gasps.

"What?" I question.

"That song... It's just so dark! What are you listening to?!" She asks me. I listen to the words sounding out of the speakers connected to my iPhone.

Mama, we all go to hell

Mama we all go to hell!

It's really, quite pleasant, except for the smell!

Mama, we all go to hell!

"Mama, by My Chemical Romance. It's not that dark... " I retaliate.

"Yeah it is! Can you turn it off?" She replies. The only one of my friends who doesn't hassle me about my choice in music is Simone.

"...No, but if you hang up you can pretend I did." I suggest, only partly kidding. She laughs, and I can practically hear her rolling her eyes through the phone.

"No, I'm good, thanks. But anyway, the three of us are going swimsuit shopping tomorrow at the mall and I was wondering if you wanted to come?"

"The three of us?" I question.

"Yeah. Simone is coming too." She tells me. I'm confused.

"Simone's coming to the summer home too?"

"No, she's rooming in Home Away with Br-"

"Don't say it, noooo, don't say her name!" I beg. "She's rooming with Bridget too?"

"Yup. But Simone suggested the swimsuit shopping and wanted to know if we'd go with her." She explains.

"Sure I'll go. What time?"

"Three," she responds, then pauses. "... Are you okay?... with, Aaron, and all." She asks. I sigh out of relief once I've scrubbed the kitchen until it was cleaned to my standards. All of the emotional tension from today hadn't been released or resolved; only temporarily forgotten about through meticulous scrubbing, washing, cleaning, and dusting. I was doing so well until Jordan mentioned him just now. I sigh a second time, for a different reason. All my cleaning had been in vain, all my excessive work had been for nothing; because the topic of Aaron and Bridget had just resurfaced. I guess it wasn't completely in vain. When I'm upset, messy spaces and I don't do too well together, so straightening up did some good.

"...Am I okay? Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I'm used to it; I'm used to him and his craptastic decisions that nothing phases me anymore when it comes to him. If he's trying to shock me he needs to really up game. Like- he shoulda told me that he was moving in with her and that Bridget was expecting his baby. Now that woulda shocked me." I tell her as I open the fridge. There's about ten new microwaveable dinners spread across the top compartment of the fridge. Looks like ma went 'grocery' shopping. I reach inside and search around through the dinner selections I had to choose from.