Be Alright: Somebody To Love #6

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Madelyn’s POV

         “Hi Mommy!” Stella blurted loudly as I walked inside. She and Kenny were on the couch watching Gossip Girl.

         “Kenny!” I gasped playfully. “I can’t believe you’re watching without me!”

         “Stella made me!” He laughed, trying to blame her.

         “Mom, he’s addicted.” Stella shook her head.

         “Well, you’re free Kenny. You can leave whenever.” Justin sat down on the couch across from them.

         “Maybe after this episode. Or this season.”

Justin’s POV

         Madelyn tried to put her game face on the rest of the day. She of course lit up around the kids, like she always did, but I could tell she was struggling. She was withdrawn. I frequently caught her staring at a wall or at the ground. It wasn’t normal Madelyn behavior.

         She tucked the kids in and headed to bed herself. I met her in the bedroom, hoping she would open up to me. She didn’t say a word as she showered and got dressed. It wasn’t until we were laying in bed, just barely touching, that she began to talk.

         “Thanks for coming with me today.” She smiled.

         “I wouldn’t have let you go alone.” I smiled back at her. “Tell me what you’re feeling.”

         “I’m fine.” She snapped.

         “Madelyn, you’re not okay. You might believe that, but I don’t.”

         “You haven’t been talking to me about how you feel. Why should I?”

         “Okay. I’m sorry. Forget I brought it up.” She nodded and curled up against me. I knew we weren’t anywhere near being back to normal, but today had felt like progress. It had felt as if we were on the right track.

Madelyn’s POV

         I woke up to Justin holding me tightly against him, at lot tighter than normal. I had a gut feeling that I had done something to provoke it. I couldn’t remember, but I was sure I’d probably had a nightmare. Justin had probably tried to soothe me. I sighed. I wasn’t ever going to convince him I was okay if I couldn’t keep it together in my sleep.

         I laid awake for a while. Every time I shut my eyes, there were another set of eyes looking at me; staring at me. Every time it happened, I would quickly open my eyes, reminding myself that I was safe. I was in Justin’s arms. No one could hurt me.

         I finally fell asleep, only to be awakened by my alarm clock ten minutes later. Justin began to stir.

         “Did you sleep well?” He asked, which was his way of asking me if I remembered the nightmare.

         “Yeah.” I lied. I got up and walked into the bathroom, trying to find enough energy to get ready.

         “You don’t have to do this.” Justin followed me.

         “Do what?” I asked, keeping myself busy. I started brushing my teeth as I waited for him to answer.

         “Pretend like you’re okay. I can see the dark circles under your eyes. You were sobbing half the night.”

         “I am fine.” I snapped back.

         “You’re not fine. And I think you would get through this a whole lot faster if you admitted that.” He growled and walked out of the room.