"I don't know what I'm doing without you..." she says.
I'm speechless for a few long seconds, wondering how I'm meant to reply to that. It came so out of the blue... so randomly, without explanation.
"I don't know either," I say finally. I'm outside the school building, sitting with my back leaning against the wall around the corner from the entrance to the cafeteria. Away from everyone who's inside. Because they'd think I was insane for calling someone.
I'd be considered rude or antisocial. Because shouldn't I be enjoying this experience?
But all I want to do is to go home and see her again.
"Today everyone was talking and I felt alone, like... I almost had no purpose there, there was no point to me being there- without you there."
"I went to a party yesterday- the first party I've been to without you... I didn't know what to do, it was so awkward," I reply.
She's silent for a long while.
We're on other sides of the world, you in bed, close to falling asleep, and me at school, at lunch break hiding from everyone else.
"God I miss you so much," she whispers into the phone.
I open my mouth to reply, but she speaks before I can.
"I feel like I'm not even living my life without you."
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Being Pansexual
RomansaBeing pansexual... It's all a bit difficult when you're falling in love with someone you can't have. -- Notes on falling in love with my best friend, realising i'm pansexual and a few random other things story of my life
