BOUND TO MY NEMESIS

9 ~ Fed Up?

A MOMENT OF PATIENCE B4 U DIVE IN, so  Saturday was my birthday and I can't thank you guys enough for the love you showed me, your heartwarming messages practically had me glowing This PAGE IS DEDICATED TO ALL MY WELL WISHERS LIKEWISE THE COMING PAGES,  rayhanashakib,yusrahfari,Jidderh_K,MariyaJika,  you are all my MVPs I heart you all to pieces 😘

I watched sadly as the door closed behind them, they couldn't wait a second more after helping me clean up, "We can't stay another minute in this house Sal try to understand" Aunty's stern voice had admonished, I wished I could even escort her to the airport.

I prayed the calmness that had engulfed me when they were around stick but that proved to be futile as I ascended the stairs my plate of spaghetti bolognese. I stood aside when I heard the loud thump of his feet as he descended yet I was still pushed, "what is wrong with this guy?" I questioned under my breath quietly tsking as I hurried to my room.

I pushed the curtains aside to allow in the light of the sinking sun accompanied by the soothing cool October wind. I turned staring at the plate again, Aunty had refused when I said I wanted to eat it with Fareeda and Mufy she'd insisted I eat it with Dan because we were newly weds and all, what I refuse to understand is how eating together has anything to do with this supposed "Blooming love" the woman seems to be over dramatic sometimes, we have separate tummies, Dan is a glutton compared to me, I hardly eat it seems she's forgotten that bit about me, and seeing Dan would only make me lose my appetite. I tsked remembering I met him right before coming to my room. "It seems there will be no dinner for me after all" I took the plate and went downstairs praying the security guard will be ok with the food.

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I clenched my teeth as I picked the broken ceramic, my heart felt like it was going to fall off my chest, the impetus of the self obsessed, cunning, two-faced bastard, Astagfirullah* I uttered closing my eyes, how dare he? Wallah my patience is running thin I might do something I'll regret, I breathed in heavily holding my breath in and closed my eyes. "You shall overcome this" I repeatedly muttered the mantra I have learned the past week, we are just a few months into this 'union', however it will be classified because there is no way that monster is my husband, I even doubt if our family bond is real. That mess of a man had the impetus to call me a disgrace to womanhood because I dressed in what he terms "wanton" and served him food. Then throws the food at me like I've not spent hours trying to make it for him.

I burst into tears when I looked at the shards of glass mixed with food, this food is going to waste whiles there are others suffering in other places, "there are people eating grass to sate their hunger you have the guts to throw a well cooked food, Allah will. ...."

"Don't you dare complete that sentence , how do I know you've not poisoned me like you've done your other victims!" He shouted, I raised my bloodshot eyes rolling them at him then took the dustpan and walked out of the room I wasn't interested in his reaction , he could burst with anger for all I care. I've played the humble dutiful wife for long.

I shook my hands as I disposed the food in the bin, with quivering hands I wiped my cheeks off the tears of anger and sorrow, it's one thing to be physically abused though he's only done that with the coffee incident I'd repeatedly take side bruises with a smile if no insults were added, verbal abuse has a way of breaking ones spirit it might just be utterances but the holes it bears within you transcends any other.

I clutched my chest repeatedly uttering Allah's name for some solace in my heart, I wished I could perform ablution and pray two rakaats but that's the perk of being a lady luckily I can still recite the Quran from my phone.

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"Alhamdulillah ladhi ahyana badamaa amatana wa ilaihin nushur"* I recited as I rose from the head massaging my head from the dreadful dream I had had. He might despise me but I'd never wish something like that on him, Mom and Dada will always be my parents but he still is the one who sired me and I'd give everything I own to have him hold me and call me his daughter even if it's just for a millisecond.

I jumped off the bed and made it before walking to the bathroom. A jacuzzi bath would have been much appreciated but in my current state it would be just 'yuck' I shrilled in disgust as I turned the faucet thoughts of Dan and Papa momentarily forgotten.

I frowned and scrunched my nose when I opened the door to see him in the room, I wished the earth would swallow me up no man has ever seen me like this he is my husband but we've not gotten to this juncture yet, we are a platinum's distance to getting there.

I gently sat on the stool to prevent any improper flashing, I squeezed a little amount of my cocoa butter rubbing it between my palms then started massaging it on my upper arm, "Mhm mhm" I heard him clear his throat, "Uh I - I will be waiting for you downstairs" I rolled my eyes at his retreating figure wishing I had smacked some sense into him yesterday.