BOUND TO MY NEMESIS

19 ~ Withering

My head was half perched on my left arm my eyes fixated on the IV line that traced to my hand, I watched as droplets of the liquid trickled into the valve injected in my left wrist.

Watching this was better than the disappointing and pitying looks I might receive from mom, our eyes had met quite a few times when they were here yesterday and I hated the look in them, I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was but I didn't like it, the rest of the family were no different, I closed my eyes again, my throat felt clogged, like it would burst any moment.

All I could afford to give my papa was a nod and a forced smile when he came yesterday, he was still a stranger though he bore me.

I've never been one to open up to people, doing so took time and I was in no hurry to rush this.

***

Within me I felt dead, my body just a hub of a withering soul, maybe my dad told them what really happened that day and they shared the same sentiment as Dan.

I sniffed wishing the pain would just stop, the rhythmic throbbing in my head had dulled though it still hurt.

I swallowed the sob I was going to release when I heard the creak of the door "she's still not awake?" dad's voice whispered in question, "No she's not" I felt a cold hand on my neck, "Her fever is down" I heard mom's voice for the second time.

"Sirina do you believe Mesunan Mallam?" there was a pause, my heart beat picked up what did dad think about Dan "I don't want to believe it I'm afraid to even voice it but I think he's abusing the girl" he added the latter in a silent gruff.

Dad had the same assumption as mom, they thought he hit me, I'd prefer he hit me to what he actually did.

I'd take beatings for years to this emotional abuse, "I don't think so Alhaji let's not drive to conclusions" mom voiced pleadingly.

I could feel the tension in the room, "I don't know what's coming of that boy but I don't know what to think of him again, you saw him walk out on Yusuf dragging Salma along, that was the first time in many years he saw his daughter but he took the girl away, by Allah if I find out he is in any way responsible for what happened to her, he can count himself out of my children I have lost 2 already no harm in lo-" "Alhaji" mom shrieked, thick silence befell the room.

Ya rabbi what was happening, I am the cause of all this, I made this happen why do I have to be the cause of every doom that befalls them. First their children now this, tears trickled down my face. I wish death would take me away so all this would stop.

"You know how much he loves Salma, he did so from her nappy days why would he hate her now, the girl he won't even make a fly touch?" she asked the latter rhetorically.

My lips begged to sob this was too much.

"Have you forgotten how much he used to fight with Manan for her? He was much closer to Dawud but he didn't trust him with her either" mom muttered her voice thick with emotion, I heard retreating steps, one of them was going out I wish the both of them will stop this spat and leave. I'll convince one of the nurses to inject poison in the IV so I'd die and peacefully leave them "people change" was the only thing I heard what were they talking about.

"Where is he?" the room was silent again "He was called to his work's Dakar branch he called me earlier before going, it was an emergency" a deafening silence filled the room, I was shocked by the new revelation, Amdan wasn't just here at the hospital but out of the country, what company sent a person on an impromptu visit to another country without prior notice, were contractors suddenly in high demand at Dakar?.

I felt the bed dip "I hate this, I hate this feeling I don't know what I'd do if these suspicions turn out right" mom whispered an edginess in her voice and I hated it.