Chapter 19

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In the pov of Mei

I took off my jacket and looked up at the clock. 

Eleven o'clock. I wouldn't say I like evening shifts. I hung the jacket up to a hanger in my office, took my own red coat back, and put it on. I took my shoulder bag and left the office, locking it as I went. 

I considered going to say goodnight to Yui before leaving but then decided not to. She was probably sleeping, and I'm also feeling a little awkward because of the conversation we had today.

But why was I feeling like this? It's not like she didn't make a good point. 

And when it comes to Yamaguchi. I don't think I like him. He is a horrible human being that doesn't think twice about killing a person. Someone heartless. Right?

That's the kind of person he's supposed to be, but why is he acting so kind to me? Why does he have a tender side? If he didn't have one turning him down would have been so much easier.

I feel empathy towards him. He lost his parent when he was young, just like me, and I understood he had to suffer because of his father after that.

In that sense, he was worse off. But, on the other hand, my dad at least loves me properly.

But who am I to judge? I have never met his father, and I have never heard the story from Yamaguchi.

I sighed as I walked through the electric doors that led outside and stared in shock at seeing a familiar figure.

He had parked his black Ferrari in front of the hospital, and he was leaning on the car wearing a long beige coat. His hair was styled messily, and he was looking away from the hospital. He seemed to be in thought.

As I looked at his features, I noticed I wasn't the only one looking at him. 

There were groups of people around him looking and whispering. 

I guess he really is quite popular.

I walked to him, and he turned to look at me with a smile.

"Mei! I came to pick you up as I was already in the area and it's quite late already. Didn't want to bother my men." He gave me a dashing smile and opened the door for me.

The people around us started whispering more loudly. Oh yeah. This man doesn't cater to women. He's acting like this is probably quite a shock. Our arrangements aren't public either.

I smiled a little bothered, and he noticed giving a look towards the people. Look full of disgust and killing intent.

All of them shut up immediately, and he just directed his bright smile again only to me.

It felt weird. The way he pointed that smile only at me.

I went into the car, and he closed the door behind me and walked to the other side to sit on the driver's seat.

He sat down and closed the door. Set on the engine and left the hospital's yard.

I looked at Yamaguchi as he drove. He stayed quiet, but he was clearly relaxed as he was leaning slightly towards me, and his other hand was resting on the wheel and the other in the middle next to me.

He was looking outside intently, gaze fixated on the road.

"You feeling better?" I asked him on a whim, really. But I guess I was also worried.

"Yeah, the wound has completely closed. You should check it to give me a clear." I smiled.

"Well, that's good to hear." There was a small silence, but it was surprisingly comfortable.

He pulled over to the yard of the house. As I was getting out of the car, he grabbed my hand.

"Mei. Can you stay here with me for a moment?" His voice was like a whisper, and I couldn't see his face as the lights in the car went off with the engine, and now there was complete silence.

There was, however, something in his voice that stopped me from pulling my hand away and leaving the car.

He seemed vulnerable and afraid that I would do just that.

Before I knew it, I had sat back down and was now facing him, trying to see his expression in the darkness. He was still holding my hand and fiddling with my fingers.

I wonder what he wants to say? To make him seem this hurt.

"Mei. I have been really unfair to you. Holding you against your will, but you need to understand. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you. If you were taken away, I don't think I could go on. I feel broken, Mei. I feel so broken. I know I can't force you to feel anything, so I have decided to give you more freedom. You are free to move on your own if you have an emergency signal and at least one guard until we catch the one behind the shooting. Also, for the upcoming Christmas, you are free to leave and to go to your family." 

I should have been happy.

I should have been glad I didn't have to spend Christmas with him.

But somehow, I didn't feel glad.

I didn't feel happy.

I could only look at his vexed face and listen to his voice that was breaking down.

It was so clear he wasn't exaggerating when saying he felt broken.

I felt a huge need to fix him. 

I don't know why.

I just did.

I swallowed and opened my mouth slightly.

"I won't go." He turned to look at me, surprised. He seemed pretty shocked.

"Why? I'm letting you go?" I smiled.

"I know, but my parents won't be home this Christmas. They are traveling to an onsen resort. I was going to spend this Christmas alone anyway, so I might as well stay." I smiled at him and opened the car door.

"I'll go inside. It's getting quite chilly." I closed the door behind me, left him dumbfounded in the car, and went inside.

I walked straight to my room, closed the door, removed my jacket and clothes, put on pajamas, took my phone, and went to lay on the bed.

I opened my phone, took out my contacts, picked up my mother, and wrote her a message.

"Hi, mom! I'll be working on Christmas, so I can't come home. I'm so sorry about this, but I'm sure to come when I have time off from work."

I clicked send and lay on the bed.

Why did I lie like that? Why did I decide to stay? I can't even understand myself anymore. Nothing makes sense anymore.

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