Chapter 15
I was crying. I couldn’t make it stop. I had never felt so bad in my life. Jared wasn’t here to comfort me. I fell to the couch and accidentally pushed the button and TV went on.
“The man who we all loved ended up throwing things out of his hotel’s window. Tom Hiddleston. Why?” the woman in a TV was talking with a very pathetic voice.
“And also our dearest Jared Leto has been seen with a woman… again! Oh Jared it seems like you’re cheating on your girl”, she continued.
I looked the TV with my eyes full of tears and I saw pictures of Jared laughing with this woman. And I saw no Shannon. What if… what if he was actually cheating on me? He left so quickly and didn’t even bother to explain earlier who this woman was. And she was the same woman that Jared had been seen together with 2 weeks ago. Oh my god. I had been fooled. And in that moment I realized nothing in my life was real. I had a stupid job that I hated, boyfriend who cheated and ruined friendships. I didn’t even have parents, because they had passed away when I was a teenager. I had nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
In that moment it felt like I was in the room where all four walls were getting smaller and smaller and they were crushing me down. I wasn’t going to wait for Jared coming back and watch him lying to be about being with his brother. He was killing me.
I took a little chair and a little bit of rope. I make the noose out of the rope. Then I went to the bathroom and opened first aid cabinet and took all the pills from there I could have found. I opened them and swallowed. I don’t know how many but the number of them going down on my throat was huge. Then I ran to the living room where the chair and noose where. I was crying while looking at them. But at the same time it felt like the right decision to make. I thought should I wrote a letter, but the pills started already taking the power on me. But I knew what I would have wroten if I would have had time. All my life I had thought that I had got through all the bad things that have happened. But honestly I hadn’t. They were all in my mind haunting me. This was the right decision.
So I was standing on the chair and I put the noose around my neck. If I would jump it all would be over. No more pain. I wasn’t giving up. I was giving myself another chance to be happy. Happy somewhere else than in this world. Slowly I moved my leg to the edge of the chair.
I don't remember one moment I tried to forget
I lost myself yet I'm better not sad
Now I'm closer to the edge
It was a a thousand to one and a million to two
Time to go down in flames and I'm taking you
Closer to the edge
No I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day, maybe we'll meet again
No I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day, maybe we'll meet again
No, no, no, no
Can you imagine a time when the truth ran free
A birth of a song, a death of a dream
Closer to the edge
This never ending story, paid for with pride and faith
We all fall short of glory, lost in ourself
And then I jumped.
YOU ARE READING
Lost in the City of Angels
FanfictionLost in the City Of Angels is the first fanfiction I've ever wrote. It's the story of a woman named Isabella who is dating Jared Leto, but things start to get complicated when Tom Hiddleston appears.
