Lost in the City of Angels

Chapter 17: Home

Chapter 17

When I got out of the hospital I understood what a mess I had created. I had been in the hospital a month and Jared hadn’t let me watch television or read news papers or anything. Now I understood why. When we went outside there were media all over the place. I knew Jared was trying to protect me, but he should’ve told me the truth. The truth that my suicide attempt was in all gossip magazines and shows.

“Jared Leto’s girlfriend tried to kill herself”

It even sounded awful to my ear and that made me wonder how bad Jared had felt. But when the media were outside of the hospital Jared didn’t say a word to them. He didn’t make a joke or said “Fuck you” as usually. He just had his arms around me and he helped me to walk to the car. In that moment I realized that from now on he would always protect no matter what.

“I tried to make the bed as comfortable as I could. A lot of blankets and pillows and I’ll make you some pancakes if you want”, we had just arrived home and he had clearly planned everything to make me feel worth of something.

“Yes this is very comfortable. Thank you”, I answered and kissed him to the cheek.

He smiled a little bit and went to the kitchen.

“I think I’ll just stay here in bedroom. I’m kinda tired”, I said.

“Yes yes of course. Stay there honey”, he shouted from the kitchen.

I fell to the bed and looked the roof. It was white and boring. Just like the whole bedroom.

“I think we should decorate this room a little bit. What do you think?” I asked.

Jared came to the bedroom door: “What did you say?”

“Just that I think this room is boring. This whiteness makes me sad. We should decorate it”, I repeated.

“Yes definitely”, he answered.

“Are you agreeing with me about everything for a reason? Jared I’ll not do that again… or is this about sex?” I asked.

“I agree with you because I agree with you. You know that I wouldn’t lie to you. And no, it’s not about sex. It’s about us”, Jared answered and looked at me and then continued: “But I’m going to make the pancakes now”.

“Remember to put a lot of sugar to pancakes!” I yelled.

“As always, dear”, he answered.