More Harry Potter One Shots

Harry Potter Chracters As Things My Friends Say

A/N: a joke chapter between chapters since he other chapter I'm writing is someone difficult for me to write. So this is Harry Potter characters as things me and my friends have said. Enjoy.

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Hermione: If It were legal, I'd marry a book.

Ron: *to others about his and Harry's friendship* I'm the Alpha best friend!

Harry: I was told the devil wore Prada, but it seems to me the devil wears pink. *glares at unbridge*

Draco: Is it gay if a guy sends you a dick pic and you screenshot it? *collective nods* Fuck!

Pansy: *to Hermione* If It were legal is murder you.

Blaise: My tastes are wealth and fame.

Percy: I'm  operating on two redbulls and five cups of coffee, this paper better get me an A.

Oliver: I blanked when you said homework.

Neville: I feel as if I'm surrounded by weirdos...

Luna: I'm a unicorn. *god damn right*

Cedric: I've been hit on by ten guys today. Like come on, I'm straight. *are you?*

Ginny: I slapped my brother today because I was tired.

Dean: It's because I'm black, isn't it.

Seamus: I think it's more because you kicked him because he insulted me.

Lee: I'm just here for the drama. Got popcorn?

Cho: I kissed a boy today.

Dumbledore: I'm gay and fabulous.

James: I'd go gay for you bro!

Sirius: Bro!!!!!

Remus: I'm going to drop out and become a stripper.

Peter: You mean I shouldn't take candy from strangers?

Lily: This was a mistake.

Viktor: In mother Russia, women fuck you. *uhhhh*

George & Fred: It's always April fools!

Molly: I never thought I'd be a mother of seven...

Arthur: I'm confused

Voldemort: Can't get caught if they're all dead.

Crabe & Goyle: Food

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A/N: this has been Harry Potter characters as things my friends have said. Which sentence are you? Which did you think was funniest.