Trace of Innocence | Sweet and Sour (Book 4)

Chapter 44 - part ii

(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 44 - You Might Have Moved On, second part)

The kiss deepens as Georgia slips her tongue into my mouth and her fingers caress my collarbone. I can't deny it's having the effect she is aiming for. I can feel myself hardening at her touch, goosebumps dancing over my skin and a gentle flush igniting in my loins. I allow her hands to slip inside my dressing gown and stroke my chest, trailing slowly further down towards my waist. My heart is pounding, but not from excitement.

It is guilt. Guilt for letting someone touch me in this way when she is not the person I want her to be.

"Georgia..."

I break the kiss and close my fingers gently around her wrist, halting her attempt to undo the belt of my dressing gown.

"Don't tell me you're shy," she breathes softly, her lips less than an inch from mine.

"No, I..." I lick my lips nervously. I don't want to go into details. "Let's just take things slowly, OK? Get to know each other a bit first."

Her gaze drops to my mouth momentarily, and then back to my eyes. "OK," she says casually, but I can detect a hint of uncertainty in her tone that she has tried to disguise, and instantly I feel bad for making her feel unsure of herself. My hesitation is nothing to do with her: it is solely down to my own unwavering loyalty to a relationship that has long since died. I'm the one with the issues, not Georgia.

"Shall we just order some dinner and hang out?" I suggest lamely, fully aware of how pathetic I sound.

"Sure," she nods, and she stands up a little awkwardly from my lap, straightening her own dressing gown.

For the rest of the evening I try to keep things lighthearted, but since my rebuffal I can't help noticing the atmosphere feels a little strained, and Georgia seems guarded. Maybe she isn't used to being turned down. I can't say I'm surprised - she's absolutely stunning. I stare at her face as we chat, and find myself taking in every detail of her features, analysing in her mannerisms, and ultimately comparing her to Jess.

Jess, who never truly leaves my thoughts, no matter how hard I try.

By the time we have finished dinner, worked our way through a second bottle of wine and the conversation has come to a natural close, it is almost midnight. I am feeling more relaxed now, and as I walk her to the door of my suite to say goodnight I wonder if perhaps something good can come out of this, and Georgia and I can be friends, if nothing else. After all, she is a nice girl with a good sense of humour. I have nothing against her. She just isn't Jess.

"Thanks for a lovely evening," she says as she pauses at the door. "I had a really great time."

"Me too," I reply, honestly. "It's been nice getting to know you."

"I'll meet you in the spa tomorrow morning," she says, flashing me a dazzling smile and leaning towards me to give me a kiss on the cheek.

At least, that's what I assume she is going to do, and hopefully I hide my surprise when she plants a soft kiss fully on my lips, and manage to avoid recoiling in horror. She lingers for a second; long enough to let me know that this isn't a friendly, platonic kiss, and that she is hoping for more. I keep my mouth closed, and try to keep the kiss as unsexy as possible, and keep my expression neutral as she pulls away.

"Goodnight, Harry," she whispers, and turns away before I can answer.

"Goodnight," I call after her a few moments later, and she throws me a seductive glance over her shoulder.

I retreat back into my room, shutting the door behind me, and let out a large breath. I know I'm not being presumptuous or arrogant when I say I know she wants me, and only eight months ago I probably would have jumped at the chance to have her in my bed. But everything has changed now. I have fallen in love with someone and my life has been irrevocably altered. I'm not sure where that leaves me for the future, but for now it certainly leaves me alone (and frustrated), and still unable to move on.