Chapter 84

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(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 84 - Actions Speak Louder Than Words)

The following afternoon Jess accompanies me, Mum and Robin to see the house I'm thinking of buying. I've thought a lot about this house over the last couple of days and I can really picture us both here. I know Jess wouldn't want to leave London permanently and to be honest it's not something I want at the moment either, Jess or no Jess. I love LA but England will always be my true home.

I can tell Jess is impressed by it but I'm also really aware that I don't want her to feel overwhelmed by it. There's no denying this place is absolutely incredible and sometimes I worry that I'll forget just how lucky I am to be in a position to be able to afford somewhere like this. But I also need to be realistic: I need somewhere that is private and secure for my own safety. This place has enough privacy but also plenty of open space. The glass wall in the master bedroom that leads out onto the rooftop deck provides the most amazing view, yet without being seen (at least not without a drone). 

"What do you think?" I ask Jess, sliding my arms around her waist as she surveys the view in front of her. 

She's quiet for a moment, searching for her words perhaps. "It's.... I'm speechless," she shrugs eventually, turning in my arms to face me. "I think it's amazing."

"The only thing I would change is the bathroom," I ponder. "It's a little on the small side in relation to the rest of the house. But I've viewed another few properties and this one is by far the best, for the money. And I really like the feel of the place."

"The bathroom is gorgeous!" she protests. "And honestly, how big do you need it to be? It's got everything you need."

"That we need," I remind her. "Seriously - I know London is our proper home, but when you're here with me, this will be your home too. I want you to love it."

"I do love it," she insists. "But I want you to choose somewhere that is perfect for you."

"Your opinion matters to me. If you said you hated it, I would reconsider."

She looks incredulous at this statement. "Would you really?" 

How can she not know by now how much I value her opinion?

"Of course. I wouldn't buy somewhere you really didn't like. I want you to be happy when you're here."

"Well, I love it. So you have nothing to worry about."

Mum has entered the room again behind me, and I give Jess a quick kiss on the lips and then turn to Mum. "What do you think?"

"I think it's lovely," she replies, nodding as she looks around the room. "If it's in the area you want and you're happy with it then I think you should go for it."

"I agree," Robin nods from the doorway. "And don't dawdle, if you've made your mind up. You don't want to lose it."

He's right. I know it's been on the market a short while and I don't want someone else to get in before me with an offer. Not when I feel in my bones that this place is ideal for at least the next couple of years.

"I have made my mind up," I declare. I slip my hand into Jess's and we descend the staircase together in search of the agent. "Can we talk numbers?" I ask, and he gestures to a seat in the kitchen and opens his briefcase to take the details of my offer. 

Jess is quiet on the way back home. 

"You look thoughtful," I observe, slipping my hand into hers and entwining our fingers. 

"Do I?" she smiles, looking as though I have just jolted her out of a daydream. "I'm just thinking how incredibly surreal all this is. It's a different world."

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