We are Forever (Book 6 in Nemi Forever Series)

Chapter 19

Nick

I walked into the bedroom, thinking I'd see Demi asleep, but she was awake, sitting up in the bed. It looked like she was about to use her phone or just used it. "You checking your messages?" I asked.

She shook her head, wearing an expression on her face that reminded me of Mercy when she got in trouble. I had a bad feeling in my gut as I looked into Demi's eyes. "I just checked the time." Demi said, her eyes darting away. She was lying. I could tell. Why she was lying, I wasn't sure. Yet.

I sat on the bed & reached to rub Demi's leg. Her eyes avoided me. "Talk to me." I said in a soft voice.

"I don't want to talk. Did you get a hold of Dr. West?" Demi asked.

"I left a message on her voice mail." I looked over at Demi's phone, then back at her face. Demi was still looking down, biting her lip. "Do you need anything?" I asked, moving my head a little to look at her face.

Demi shook her head, looking over my shoulder. I could see the hint of new tears in her eyes. Tears that she was fighting a losing battle with. "I'm cramping. You could grab me some more Advil."

I nodded, then, I went to the bathroom & got her pill & some water. When I turned to head out, I saw the closet door open & my grandfather's leather bag on the shelf, wide open. It was never out or open, so I got a sinking feeling. I took a deep breath & marched out to the bed to hand Demi the pill & a glass of water. She gave me a tiny smile to thank me. "You going to get some sleep?"

"I'll probably read a little. I have some books on my phone that I haven't read yet." Demi leaned back on the pillow against the headboard, playing with her hands in her lap.

"I'll leave you alone, then & I'll come back later with the kids so they can say good night."

"NO!" Demi exclaimed, sitting up, straight. I knew why she didn't want me coming back with the kids.

I took a deep breath as I looked at the ceiling. I was so afraid right now, but I knew what I had to do. I took a step toward the nightstand, touching the table top with my forefinger. Demi's face was panicked as she stared at my hand. "If you're going to read, then you'll need your phone."

I went to reach for her phone & Demi jumped, reaching toward the table. "NO!" Demi shouted.

I lifted her phone & my heart sank when I saw the razor blade under it. I tossed her phone on the bed & snatched the blade up with my fingers. I held it up in between us. "What the hell is this, Demi?" I couldn't help it, but my voice was raised. Demi stared at the blade for a moment, then closed her eyes. I saw her trembling, realizing she was starting to cry. I threw the blade back on the table, then leaned on the bed on my hands, so my head was level with Demi's. "Open your eyes & look at me." I said in a firm voice. She was sniveling, but she opened her eyes. "Were you going to cut yourself or kill yourself?" I asked in a serious tone.

Demi shook her head as it crumbled in an agonizing expression. "I don't know." She uttered, huskily.

"You don't know?" I was angry & scared & it was evident in my tone right now. She needed this. She didn't need me babying her. I knew this frame of mind. She wasn't thinking straight. Her head was confused. She wasn't thinking rationally. "You think I'm going to let you hurt yourself or God forbid, take your own life? You think I am going to let you leave me & our babies?" I leaned so my head was closer to hers, so she had no way to not know I was right in front of her, fighting for her life. "I will die before I let that happen." I said in a low voice, making Demi look directly into my eyes. I stood up, straight, looking down at her, my hands on my hips. "You're not the only one hurting. I lost her, too, ya know?"

Demi's head snapped up to look at me, her face incredibly sad as tears poured from her eyes. "I know, Nick. But you're so much stronger than me."

I let out an incredulous laugh. "Demetria Devonne. You have dealt with bullies. Abuse. Addiction. Bipolar disorder. A miscarriage. Facing your abuser. Your daughter having diabetes. Should I go on? You are stronger than me by a landslide." I sat on the bed, shaking my head. "You can get through this. You have to get through this because you have two children who will need you for the rest of their lives."

"I'm hurting. My heart feels like someone is stabbing it over & over."

"I know how you feel. Mine feels the same way, but our daughter, would not want us to leave her siblings. She wants us to make something good out of her short life. She shouldn't die in vain. We need to live for her, because she can't." I moved closer to Demi, taking her hand in mine. "I am not letting you fall. I am not letting you break down or shut me out. Get dressed & pack a bag. I'm taking you to Pacific Clinic & having you admitted for observation." I stood up, letting go of Demi's hand.

Demi jumped up to stand in front of me. "No. Nick. I don't need to go there. I'll be fine. You're right. Everything you said. I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders & I have you. I'll go see Dr. West first thing in the morning. Please don't take me there." Demi was pulling at my shirt, pleading with her eyes.

I put my hands on Demi's upper arms. "I'm not going to lose you, Demi." I choked on the words.

Her sobs were hard, now, as she shook her head, swiftly, back & forth. "You're not going to lose me. I promise. I'm not going to hurt myself. I just needed my hero to wake me the fuck up."

I stared into her eyes, seeing a light, in them, again. I wanted to believe her, but I was still worried. "Demi, you had a razor blade hidden so you could use it the moment I left the room." My voice was quiet & rough from the crying I was doing.

"I know. And I honestly don't know what I was going to do. I'm not thinking clearly & my hormones are out of whack. You woke me up. You made me accountable. You found out how I was feeling. I can already feel myself getting stronger. I swear to you."

I moved my hands up to either side of Demi's jaw, so I could look deep into her eyes. "Do you swear on the twins lives that you won't hurt yourself?" I asked her, my voice shaking. Demi nodded, sniffling. "Do you know how much I love you?" I didn't wait for her to respond, pulling her into my arms & holding onto her for dear life. I kissed her head, then rested my cheek on the top of it. "I am here for you, my love. Always. You have to tell me when you're feeling like you can't deal with the pain anymore. I meant what I said to you twelve years ago. I need you in my life. It would not make sense if you weren't in it. I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to you. I can't lose you. I know I could never be happy again if I lost you." I took a deep breath. Demi pulled away from me, looking up at me, a big smile on her face. I wasn't sure I'd see that smile anytime soon.

"You are my hero. With or without a cape." Demi sighed as I leaned down to kiss her mouth. Demi put her hands in mine. "You're not going to leave me alone again tonight are you?" She asked, swinging our hands a little.

I pressed my lips together, shaking my head. "Nope. Not until you see Dr. West."

She took a deep breath & let it out. "In that case, let's go get the kids & take them outside to enjoy what's left of the sunshine."

"Sounds good to me. First, I need to do something." I went to the table, picked up the razor blade & went to the bathroom to put it away. I went back to Demi, thrilled to see she looked somewhat happy. I put my arm around her shoulder & kissed the side of her head. "We're going to get through this. We just have to lean on each other." I said as Demi & I walked. She nodded, smiling, slightly, up at me. I knew this face. I had broke through her momentary bit of insanity. She would be okay. She'd never be the same, but she would be okay. It would take some time for the hurt to go away, if it ever completely went away, but she would be okay. I would make sure of it.