How is that Okay?
I just didn't understand.
Why would you do that.
To me.
To yourself.
You treated yourself with disrespect.
With hatred.
Contempt.
You were trying to destroy everything.
You had dreamed of me for years,
yet then you did everything you could
to push me away.
To make me hate you.
To test me.
Test my love.
To prove you were bad.
It HURT.
Me.
You.
Our daughter.
Everyone.
No matter how lovable you were
there was a limit.
I couldn't excuse your destruction
forever.
I couldn't participate forever.
I couldn't enable forever.
It had nothing to do with your worth.
Really.
You wanted to be saved.
Open your pretty eyes.
You wouldn't let anyone
save you.
Nobody could force you
to abandon this insanity.
The lying.
The cheating.
The manipulation.
The beating.
The self hatred.
The attempted guilt trips.
The Testing.
It all had an effect.
The effect you intended.
To push us away.
I made excuses.
I tried to get you help.
I tried talking sense into you.
I covered for you.
I gave you the benefit of the doubt.
I supported you.
I saw your mistakes as symptoms
of something we would fix.
I tried to be what you needed.
I let your behavior continue
for two and a half years
with no sign of progress.
How is that okay?
YOU ARE READING
What I 'Felt' To Say Was...
Poetry"Poetry can be therapy, so shut the door and get comfortable, we've been through a lot since our last visit. Glad to see you brought coffee. Just a reminder, I know this is expensive, but like life there are no guarantees. I do expect to stir s...
