I Don't Love You

The fight

Song: I Don't Love You - MCR
**later that day**
  As we made our way onto the stage, I got a bit nervous. Not because of stage fright or anything like that, but just nervous that Bubs might mess up the song again.
•••••••
It was the end of the night, maybe around 12:30 and the bar closed about half and hour ago. I went up to Bubs as he was packing up and wrapped my arms around his waist. He chuckled. "Not now, Marshi"
"But Bubba~" I whined. He sighed and continued to put our equipment away. I let go of him and helped him put away our things. We were almost done when I said, "ya know... you were still a little off key." He slammed the guitar case closed and sighed. "Well maybe if you played just a bit slower, that wouldn't have happened." "The song is supposed to be- never mind, I'm not having this conversation with you. You're not listening to me."
"That's because you're lying! I wasn't singing too slow, you were playing too fast! Why did we even form this band?! This was a mistake..."
I was taken aback. "It was your idea to start a band in the first place, so don't blame me!"
"I don't care, this was a mistake!"
I stayed quiet for a moment. "Well if this is such a mistake, then why are we dating?!"
"I have NO idea!"
"Well if you don't know, then why don't you just break up with me?!" I couldn't believe what I just said... I didn't want him to break up with me, it just came out...
"That's it!! Marshall-Lee, we have been dating for three years and so far, you have been the worst boyfriend ever!! WE'RE DONE."
I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. "Bubba... y-you don't mean that..." I said quietly.
"Yes I do, Marshall!" And with that, he took his guitar, swung the strap over himself and stormed out of the bar. I could feel the bartenders eyes glued on me.
This... this didn't just happen did it?! I just lost the love of my life... and it's all my fault...

  I packed up the rest of our- MY things, and sadly went home. I put my guitar on the stand and put the rest of my equipment in the basement. I rushed upstairs and sat in my bed, crying. Why did I do this to myself? This wasn't supposed to happen... I took an old shoe box out from under my bed then took out a razor blade and put it to my wrist. I haven't done this in so long...
I watched as the blood dripped down my wrist, leaving red drops on my bed sheets. The razor fell from my hand and I cried more. My wrist stung really badly and I couldn't find the motivation to get up and wash the blood away. After a few minutes, I angrily got up and took everything that belonged to Bubs and shoved it into a box. I picked up the last thing that belonged to him- a small, pink box that fits in the palm of my hand. I sighed then put it in the box with the rest of his stuff then kicked it under the bed.

  I glanced down at my wrist and sighed. I didn't notice that the blood was still running down my arm and leaving drops on the floor. I finally decided to go to the washroom to clean it up. I watched as the blood stained my sink a light pink colour and winced every time my fingertips grazed over the cuts. My mind wandered to Bubba and what he might be doing. I still love him...

Gumball's PoV
I rushed into my room and immediately blasted my music as loud as it could go, maybe as an attempt to silence my thoughts. I sadly sat on the floor next to my bed and lit a cigarette, watching the smoke as it danced and flowed through the air like a ribbon. I went through a whole pack in less than an hour as I looked through the pictures of Marshall and I and tore them down the middle, crumpling up Marshall's half. I got to the last photo of us that we took after Marshall's first concert- before we started being in a band. Marshall was smiling and blushing as I kissed him on the cheek and took the picture. Our faces were highlighted with the camera flash that went off and the background of the photo was almost completely black. A part of me wanted to go back to that night and re-live that moment. A part of me wanted to keep the picture forever as my most prized possession. A part of me wanted to burn the whole thing and forget I even knew who he was. I sighed, and instead of doing any of those things, I just ripped it down the middle like all the others and threw away Marshall's half. I touched my neck and ripped off the rose gold necklace I had of half a heart that said 'ever' on it, the other half belonged to Marshall and it said 'for' on it. Forever and ever. Marshall's voice echoed in my mind. I don't think I'll EVER miss him.
I don't love you like I did yesterday
The song lyrics blasted from my stereo and I felt my eyes sting as the tears started to run down my cheek.

The song was right, I don't love him.

I never did.