I Don't Love You

Hi idk what to name this chapter but its sad as heck

WARNING: depression, rape and abuse.

  I stared up at the ceiling and tried not to cry. Bubba never texted back last night and it's been killing me inside. What was he gonna say? What if he doesn't care about me anymore?
"Marshall?" James called from downstairs. "Yeah?"
He came upstairs and looked at me like he was defeated. "I've been thinking..." oh no.
"You've been a good boy lately, so I was wondering if you want to go out for some lunch?" His voice sounded sweet and genuine; like he actually cared. "I can't go outside, it's sunny out," I said. "Then use an umbrella." I sighed and shifted in the bed; the ropes holding me down rubbed against my cuts and I winced. "Fine..." at least I won't be tied down on this bed anymore. He smiled and kissed me on the forehead. "You're so sweet Marshi~" I smiled to him out of fear and felt my lips start to quiver. He's probably gonna fuck me afterwards... after that 'apology' last night, of which I don't think he meant it when he said that he won't hurt me in any way again, I strangely trusted him and accepted his apology. He still loves me, so why shouldn't I forgive him?
James then untied me and told me to get dressed and washed up.

After he left, I sat up from the bed and took my phone out from under the pillow then checked my messages.

"I'm coming over right now."
-yesterday 20:28
Wait, he texted back last night?
"Where are you right now?" I texted back.
"I'm around the corner from your house, just stay where you are."
I flipped out and got up from the bed then quickly got dressed. I glanced at my phone after putting on my shirt and waited for him to text me saying he was here. But he didn't. My attention was pulled to the sound of someone banging on the door intensely and I ran downstairs then opened the door. To my absolute relief, there stood bubba in the doorway looking quite angry. "Where is he?" He asked. My smile disappeared from my face. "James?" "Yes, where is he?"
"You're not gonna hurt him are you?" I asked. "He's done unspeakable things to you, of course I'm gonna hurt him. James! Where the hell are you?!" He yelled out. "Bubba calm down, I don't need you to hurt him, I can handle this on my own," I stated as I held him back from looking around for James.

Narrators PoV
"Did someone call me?" James asked as he walked into the room. Gumball shot him a look and darted towards him yelling, "you piece of shit!!" He tackled James down and they started fighting. "You hurt him! You hurt my Marshall!!HOW DARE YOU?!!" Gumball screamed out as he threw punches at James' face. Marshall ran up to them and ripped Gumball off of James. "Bubba, stop!" "No! He hurt you!! He deserves this!" Marshall held Gumball's shoulders and looked at him dead in the eyes. "He doesn't deserve this, Bubba. He said he was sorry last night. You don't need to fight him." Marshall gave a half smile and pulled Gumball in for a hug. "I missed you so much..."
Gumball sighed and returned the hug. "I missed you too..."
•••••
Marshall's PoV
  I looked around the small café we were in and smiled at the scent of fresh coffee and baked goods. The place was mostly empty so the soft music that was being played could be heard very clearly. I glanced at James who was resting his head on my shoulder and sipping his coffee. Bubba sat across from us looking very unpleased. "Something wrong Bubba?" I asked. He sighed and rested his chin on his hand. "I just don't understand... didn't James rape and torture you? Why did you forgive him?" He asked me. "Well... he-" my sentence was cut off by James as he stood up from the seat. "I'll let you two talk for a bit, I'll be in the restroom." He walked away to the other side of the café then Bubba stood up and sat beside me. "You were saying?" He said, waiting for me to continue.

  "Oh right. Well, he did apologize for what he did, and he said that he still loves me-" "Are you crazy? You're seriously just gonna trust him after what he did?" I looked down at the cup of tea I was holding and stared at my reflection in it. Although the tea was dark in colour, I could still see my features and noticed the dark bags that hung under my eyes, the way my collar bones poked out unnaturally and made my shirt look like it was way bigger than it is. I sighed. He's right... "I-I don't know why I forgave him. I probably said I did because I'm scared that if I didn't he would hurt me more..." I sniffled and looked away from my tea.

  "H-he's a monster, Bubba. He almost killed me..." I mumbled out through the tears that were now falling down my hollow cheeks. "I just want the pain to stop..." I whined out as Bubba held me closely. He still smells the same; so sweet. We stayed like that for a while until my crying slowed down. He cupped my face and wiped away the left over tears off of my bony face. "Marshall?" "Yeah...?" He leaned forwards and whispered, "how bout we get outta this place? Just the two of us?" My eyes went wide and my face lit up with a smile. "R-really? But what about James? What if he finds out?" He looked at me with a determined expression and said firmly, with no doubt in his voice, "he won't."

  From there we took our tea and ran outside without looking back. If Bubba and I were gonna leave this place, we need our things. We ran back to my house and I pulled together as many things as I could; clothes, my guitar, and a few other things then we hit the road. I was scared that James would stay at my house and I wouldn't be able to come back and I was scared that James would find us, both are pretty bad and I can't decide which is worse because I'm too busy trying to figure out where Bubs and I will sleep tonight. "Hey Marshall?" Bubba's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Yeah?" "We can crash at my place tonight, I'm sure James will be gone by tomorrow." He smiled at me and I smiled back. It felt weird to have someone care about me after a whole month of being cooped up in my own room.

  We walked for about 10 minutes then arrived at Bubba's house. He stepped up to the door and unlocked it, letting me go in first. I looked around a noticed how clean and neat everything was. It was just the same as before.

  Bubba went over to me and and hugged me from behind. His hugs were always the warmest~
He let his head sink into my hoodie and sighed. "Marshall...?" He asked, his voice muffled from stuffing his face into my hoodie. "Yeah?" He finally looked up at me and half smiled. "You can sleep in my bed tonight~" I blushed then smiled. "Gladly~" I replied. I let myself sink in and soon enough, our lips met. He tasted desperate, like he yearned for my touch. I gave in and kissed deeper, wrapping my arms around him and closing my eyes tightly. After a while, we pulled away to catch our breath and I saw him smile. "You um... you should go upstairs and unpack. I'll make us some dinner." He quickly kissed me on the cheek then went to the kitchen. I smiled to myself then took my bag and went upstairs.

  I looked around Bubba's room and smiled. Still the same. I dropped my bag on the floor and took off my hoodie then sat on the bed. I looked down at my arms and sighed. Once he sees what I've done to myself, I doubt he'll want to stay with me... Both my arms, from my shoulders to my wrists, were covered in cuts big and small, deep and shallow. The biggest and deepest one being from when I tried to escape. It's still patched up with the big bandaid that's covering it starting to come off at the edges. I reached into my bag and grabbed a roll of gauze then wrapped my arm in it, making sure that the bandaid stayed on. I put my hoodie back on then laid down on the bed. Today was... eventful. I needed some rest. I could feel my eyelids grow more heavy every second that I kept them open. I finally closed my eyes and let the sweet relief of sleep take me away.