To the Moon and Back

Confession

That evening I went to the concert alone... Dierks was on stage, Luke was up next. I was standing backstage.

I sat on the one stool on the side of the stage watching Dierks perform.

"Hi..." I heard his voice say. It sent chills down my back. I turned to see him standing there in those tight light colored jeans that fit so right and a nice form fitting white tee shirt.
"Hey..." I replied.
"You look nice..." he said shyly.

I had on a pair of khaki shorts and a black v neck shirt.

"Thanks..you do too..." I replied.

We stood there in silence for a minute.

"So are you staying for my set?" He asked...
"I just came for yours."
"Oh...cool!" He said surprised.
"Yeah I guess..."
"Did you get some sleep today?" He asked me...
"Not really... maybe like an hour and a half all together...."
"I'm sorry..."
"How Long did you rehearse?"
"A few hours I played guitar and piano... then I went and sat on the tour bus...called the boys..." he said looking down.
"I see how are they?"
"As good as they can be..."

It was silent for a minute. I was staring at him. He was looking down at his feet.

"Luke..." I said. He looked up.

God did I just want to go somewhere and fuck him.
I stood up and walked over to him. He stood up straights I held his hands. He looked down at me. I had this look on his face that I've never seen. He looked so unhappy and in pain.

I pulled him back to one of the storage closets. I closed the door. I could barely see him. We were body to body it was so small.

"Luke..." I said.
"Kelly..." he replied.
"I'm sorry..." I said to him. He found a light and turned it on.
"No you have nothing to be sorry for. Not one damn thing. This is all on me. It's all my fault. No one else's. I love you to the moon and back and I will show you one day how much you mean to me I know it sucks and I know that you need me to prove it and I will baby whenever I can..." he said.

I stood on my tippy toes and pulled him down for a kiss. He pushed me against the door. He was breathing heavy.

"Baby we cant..." he said.
"Why?" I replied breathless.
"The...the..." He said.

I pulled him out so I could see his face better. We were standing in a hallway.

"The what?" I asked confused.
"The incident."
"The fight?" I asked. I knew it wasn't but I wanted to hear him say it.
"No... well kinda..."
"Just say it luke."
"The miscarriage." He said and tears rolled down his face.
"Luke..." I said As I took my thumb to his tears.
"Kelly I want a baby with you so bad and I messed up and you lost it."

Dierks show was over and they all came off stage Dierks stopped when he saw us talking.

"Kelly you okay?" He asked. Luke was the one crying!
"I had a miscarriage when that girl and i. Got in a fight and it's now just hitting Luke."  I said Dierks froze.
"Man I'm so sorry." He said putting his arm around Luke.
"It's fine... it's my fault..." Luke said.
" no it's not. That's never anyone's fault. It'll be oky one day you two will have a baby together." Dierks said walking away.

Luke looked at me.

"Kells we don't have to tell anyone..." he said.
"I want people especially your fan and friends to forgive you... the pictures of us leaving the hospital leaked.... you tell them I had a miscarriage and everyone will forget about everything. It's not a lie."

He was hesitant. But he eventually was ready to talk about it to everyone.

**

Whenever he was down with his first song he got some applause. He was standing at the mic. Someone ran him a stool out. He sat down.