Breathe Again

Chapter 4

"Hi, one medium drip, and a –" Blaine began, looking over at Kurt, unsure of what he wanted to order.

"It's okay, I'll get my own," Kurt shook his head, taking a slight step backwards.

"Kurt, just order," Blaine told him. He looked back at the girl standing behind the counter and mouthed a 'sorry' before returning his gaze back to Kurt. "You can get the next one." He said hoping that Kurt would accept the trade.

"A medium non-fat mocha, please," Kurt mumbled before making his way to a small table in the corner of the coffee shop, waiting for Blaine to join him.

Minutes later, Blaine made his way to the table with two cups in his hand. He set one in front of Kurt and took the seat across from him. "Thanks for agreeing to come."

"Did I really have a choice?" Kurt asked flatly, taking the warm coffee into his hands.

Blaine frowned, concerned that Kurt felt forced into their meeting. "Of course, you did. I would have let you go if you said no," he added sincerely before taking a sip of coffee.

"No, I know, that wasn't fair. Sorry." Kurt looked down at the table guiltily.

"It's fine. A lot has happened recently with us, I can understand your agitation." Blaine shrugged, wishing that things were less awkward.

"That's an understatement," Kurt chuckled, finally letting himself look up into the soft hazel eyes that he knew for certain were looking back at him.

"So, um...can we talk about what happened?" Blaine asked cautiously. He didn't want to push Kurt into an even more uncomfortable position than he already was, but he needed to know what had happened the previous night.

"Which time?" Kurt quipped, giving Blaine a small smile in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Blaine smiled back, happy that Kurt was making an effort. "Last night," he said as he chewed on his bottom lip. "I just...I guess that I want to know why you ran."

"I freaked out a little," Kurt said quietly, unsure if he wanted to completely explain his thought process from last night. "Everything was great, and then it was all happening so fast, and I panicked."

"Why couldn't you just have told me that though? You didn't need to run," Blaine sighed, setting his cup down. "You could have told me that it was too much, and I would have backed off, Kurt. Instead, you flipped and left me hanging."

"I know, and I need you to know that it wasn't you." Kurt took another sip of his drink. "You...you were great. I just panicked."

"So you said. I guess what really confuses me is the fact that you never indicated that you didn't want what I did," Blaine admitted, looking down at the table and fiddling with the lid of his coffee. "I didn't feel like you gave me any mixed signals. Hell, when I tried to kiss you, you looked at my lips, Kurt. And your eyes..." He let his eyes flutter back up to Kurt's. "There was nothing in your eyes that told me to stop. Just the opposite, actually."

"That's because I..." Kurt paused, closing his eyes. He took a deep breath to gather his thoughts. "...I wanted to kiss you, more than you know. It's just not that simple, Blaine."

"Why?" Blaine asked, beginning to feel irritated once again. Why couldn't it be that simple?

"I told you, Blaine. You don't want me." Kurt shook his head as he brought his cup down to rest on the coffee table. "Just trust me," he added, drumming his fingers lightly on the table.