Breathe Again

Chapter 20

Hi guys!! Long time no talk! But I'm here, I promise! And, I've been diligently working on this chapter during any moment of spare time I've been able to fine – which hasn't been too much as of late. Schools in its final weeks, which means many, many final projects as well as exams to study for, and works been busy as ever, but I managed to squeeze this chapter out finally!

It was a toughie honestly... trying to balance the sad and the happy, but I think it went pretty well! I hope you all enjoy, and that you are all still with me, even through these incredibly long breaks between chapters. Enjoy my lovelies and don't forget to let me know what you think!!

-B 

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"Ella was...well Ella was everything and more. People use the phrase 'bubble of joy,' and often it doesn't truly reflect the actual person or thing they are talking about, but Ella was truly a bubble of joy. She was also stubborn, motherly, caring, generous, incredibly sassy, and so many other things. She was like this incredible enigma – something that you couldn't quite properly comprehend, yet something that you could appreciate none-the-less." Blaine smiled sadly as he looked out into the sea of fond expressions that stared back at him. He had spent the better part of three days trying his best to create the perfect speech, a speech that would live up to the person it was written about, for this very moment, but he could never seem to find the right words. It had taken a sad, but ever caring Kurt sitting down next to him and explaining that he wouldn't be able to write the speech in advance, and that when the time came he'd be able to stand in front of everybody and tell them just how much this beautiful woman meant to him. Of course – as always – Kurt was right.

"I left home when I was seventeen, and with it, in a sense, I left my mom. She's amazing, and I'm overwhelmingly grateful to have her, but the distance that was put between us when I left made it hard for her to really be there for me. So, when I moved in to the same apartment building as Max and El a few months after moving to New York, I was incredibly lucky to have this amazing woman step in to my life. She was like my – no, she was my second mom," Blaine paused, letting his eyes flutter shut as he took a deep breath and tried his best to will tears away. "She was there, anytime I needed her, and in everything she did, she always seemed to have my best interest at heart. She was the mom I needed in my life when I wasn't able to have my own," Blaine nodded, letting the tears fall, knowing that at this point, holding them back was useless. "When I was trying to figure out what to say to you all today, I freaked out when I realized that there aren't enough words in existence to truly express how phenomenal this woman was. My boyfriend, Kurt, told me to stop writing and assured me that when the time came, I'd find the exact words to say. You were almost right, Kurt." Blaine found Kurt's eyes, which stared back intently, and were also filled with tears. "You were right that I wouldn't have been able to write the speech that she deserved, but you were wrong about the rest of it. There aren't any words in the English language that truly describe the enormity of joy, frustration, and complete adoration that we all feel towards Ella. One day I hope to have words that are even slightly worthy of using for her, but I doubt that they'll ever be invented. So, for now, I'll stick with these two sentences. El, I will forever be overwhelmingly grateful for the way you accepted me and took me in as your own. I will spend the rest of my life trying to show those around me even a small portion of the selfless and unconditional love that you showed me. I love you, with everything me, El."

And with that, Blaine moved his hand up to wipe the tears that had been falling down his cheek before making his way off of the stage and to where Kurt was, sitting next to him and reaching for the boy's hand as Max moved to make his way up to the podium.