Becoming Adamant [#1]

Chapter 26 - Last Day of Pain Before Going Home

I’m released from the hospital the next day. Since the Games ended I haven’t been ‘happier’…well, whatever you can call being happy at this point. Being out of the hospital, means I’m ready to do that damn interview with Kellerman. The interview which makes my stomach turn just thinking about. Blight and I haven’t spoken that many words since that last blow-out yesterday. I have nothing more to say to him. He knows how I feel about where I am now and he knows damn well I’m gonna be a hard one to handle as well. It’s probably not for my own good, but at this point, my rage and anger clouds whatever reasonable judgment I have in my fourteen year old mind.

Being out of the hospital, I’ve been led back to the seventh floor where I spent my time before the Games. The moment I step out of the elevator, I can just feel the overwhelming emptiness of the space in front of me. Even though the floors are separated, I can just feel the emptiness of being the only tribute that returns. Less than a week ago, we were twenty-four tributes living in this building, and now, I’m the only one left. I walk out on the floor with careful steps. It’s like I don’t want to disturb the silence, but at the same time, I need it to end.

I look towards the window and my mind travels back in time to the moment when I sat there with Talon the night before it all began. I remember every single word that he said to me that night and looking at the spot now, as I walk towards it. I stand by the couch just looking at the spot for a while. It tears me up in anger and rage and pain just to see it. He sat there with tons of regrets and now I’m the one that’s here. I can sense tears are about to make an appearance as I hear the elevator door open behind me. I know who it is by the coughing. I don’t turn around to greet him, but I notice that he’s making his way over to me. I slightly turn my head towards him before my eyes make their way back to the spot by the window.

“…the night before the Games, Talon sat there and apologized for the person he had been at home. He apologized for being a jerk to everybody…” I start, but tears are forcing me to take a breather. Blight is sitting at the end of the couch as I speak, still standing on my two feet. “He was actually sorry for whom he had been…but he’s not the one who’s back here, is he?!” I then turn my head towards Blight as he just looks at me. “I am the one who’s here…I didn’t even apologize for constantly calling him brainless and treating him like crap when he was just trying to be friendly!” I say as I try to keep my rage under control. I see Blight’s holding a drink in his hand. I briefly consider snatching it and just throw the contents inside my mouth, but I leave the thought rather quickly.

“He had me promise him, Sylvia. I stuck to what he wanted and you’re here because of that, but also because of your personality.” Blight then says as I stare ahead. “You could not have made it through the last night in the Games if it wasn’t for your attitude.” He adds to it shortly afterwards. “As to this…you can’t blame yourself for what you didn’t do. You were being your true self and that’s valuable when you’re a tribute. I’ve seen too many tributes change before the Games have even began, but you’re the only one that hasn’t. You did not even flinch even though you were reaped.” Blight then says as if I’m supposed to feel better about it.

“I haven’t been myself…not once in here have I been my true self, Blight! You put restraints on me, and I’ll bet my sweet ass that’s what you’re asking me to do now too, right?” I then answer back at him. “I’ve said too many times already why you need to do that.” He answers me first, but I cut him off. “I can’t do it anymore, Blight! I need to release some steam or it’ll be stuck inside forever and trust me, it won’t be a pretty sight if that ever gets out way overdue!” I answer back at him. “You will not do it here! Not in front of the entire nation!” Blight protests as he raises his voice. “You know what, Blight?! You’ve told me that so many times, that I’ve stopped caring if the President hears me or not…he’s taking more than one piece of me and he knows it damn well!” I yell back at him. He just sighs deeply as he takes a sip of is drink and then shakes his head. “I’m done trying to warn you…nothing gets through that thick skull of yours!” He says as he gets up on his feet and walks towards the elevator. “If something happens…you’ll know it’s on you.” Blight then warns me as the elevator door opens.