Becoming Adamant [#1]

Chapter 32 - Not So Alone

That day, I walk first down to the Mayor’s office in town before I walk back up with peacekeepers and some other guys that are examiners of some sort. They walk in to Blight’s house and carry him out of there and down towards the city, covered. I then walk in to my own house and tell my parents. They do the best they can by me as I spend the rest of the day in my room. They bring me food, try to talk to me, but none of it helps against the loneliness that I’m feeling just rising inside of me. Here, in 7, he was the only one with the same tremors as me, with the same experiences, and now he’s gone and I’m all alone. In years to come, tributes will be reaped, and they will expect me to be able to help them through all of it. Damn it, I can’t! I don’t know a damn thing about anything!

I get up early the next morning just to watch the sun come up over the horizon. In fact, I don’t get up…I wake up and I can’t put myself back to sleep. The nightmares are worse now: bloody Talon chasing me through the woods, followed by a pale, dead man that is Blight. And today, Dess arrives. He’s the only one from the Capitol-experience who hasn’t died yet. I suppose now is just the time for him to tell me that he’s gotten promoted or something or that he’s sick too and about to die. I’m really that dark and depressed now, that’s for sure. Nothing’s going the way I want it…the way I need it.

It doesn’t happen though. I’m standing at the train station waiting for Dess’ train to arrive. By what I’ve come to understand, his train is on schedule, and he’s supposed to be here any minute. The Peacekeepers let me be there as the train arrives. They know…the entire District knows that Blight’s dead, but it’s almost like none of them seem to care. As the train stops and Dess walks out, I can tell he’s been affected by the news. He’s known, like me, for quite some time, but that doesn’t mean that one looks forward to it happening…if only for once, we’re in the same boat.

It’s been over a month since I’ve seen Dess…since I ‘won’ the Games. “Hey there, kid.” He says as he approaches me. “Hey, Dess.” Well, this is an awkward thing for us. I mean, Dess and I never came close to being anything when I was just a tribute. I always butted heads with Blight…or with Talon occasionally, but now, I guess Dess will have to be the one for all that. “Are you okay?” He then asks me as we get to the transport towards the city and get inside the car. “Well, I haven’t slept one entire night if that’s what you mean…” I start. “I haven’t slept one whole night since the Games. Whenever I do get any sleep, it’s at my old house where nothing is Games-related.” I then say as I stare at my own hands. “And what about Blight’s death?”

That question actually stings, but what I end up giving Dess, is more of the anger and frustration around it. “Well, why don’t we see through what he left me with…oh yeah, the mentoring role for the District’s future tributes…at the age of 15!” I let out at first before I think some things through. “Truth be told, the district would be better off without any of us!” I add. Like I mentioned earlier, I’m dark and depressive. It’s basically been my life since the Games. Blight failed to warn me about that…bastard. He’s gonna be paying for that with every tribute that I fail to get through the Games.

“Well, I figured there’d be something like that…the anger I mean.” Dess lets out as the car stops and we’re by the Mayor’s building. “I’m gonna go and talk to the Mayor regarding the funeral tomorrow. You can go and wait for me at the Victor’s Village. I’ll come and find you.” He says as he leaves me by the car and goes to talk to the Mayor. I end up taking the long and slow walk back up towards the village.

I don’t sit on my own doorstep for very long before I see James coming through the gates of the Victor’s Village. He doesn’t hesitate on which direction to go. I guess he’s supposed to know this. “So, the ceremony will be tomorrow, I’ve heard from some of the victors that will be attending tomorrow.” Dess says as he walks up to me. “So there are actually people that want to say goodbye to him?” I then ask. “Well, for one, you do…” He starts and I immediately look at him. Fair enough, he’s got a point. “…the fact is that he’s made a lot of good friends among the victors. They’re all sad that he’s dead now…maybe relieved because he suffered, but saddened.” Dess then says as he sits down.