Becoming Adamant [#1]

Chapter 3 - That Long Goodbye

Afterwards, Dess leads me and Talon in to the Mayor’s building where we are separated and led to separate rooms to say goodbye to our families. How the hell do I do this?! I’ve treated them like crap! I’ve treated them like crap because I’ve always thought they’ve worried too much. Apparently, it’s been I who hasn’t worried enough. I’ve never really managed to wrap my head around this until now: every year they are reminded of the fact that Sharp and I can just be taken away from them. Now they’re about to take me. I’ve been feisty, stubborn, worn an attitude and never really just given them the few kind words that every parent gives to their kids.

The peacekeepers walk me into a room where I’m left alone. This is the last place where I’ll see my family. I guess it’s my bad conscience that’s getting to me at this point. I see my hands are shaking and I try to stop it, but I can’t. Something else that gets to me is that people around me have been saying that I would be a definite contender if I was ever picked. Well, how about it? Do you think I’m gonna win it? How can I possibly think that?! I’m fourteen years old, damn it! I have no standing chance whatsoever! I might be fearless in front of the rest, but on my own I’m just like the rest. I’m just a kid; a fourteen year old girl who wears an attitude. It doesn’t make me fearless, geniuses!

I have my back to the door when I hear it open. My little brother Sharp runs straight towards me and hugs me. I can see tears stream down his face and even though I feel awkward doing it, I try to hug him back. This isn’t who I am…I’m not a softy. I’ve never been the kind, but now I’m about to leave my little brother for good and I suddenly feel like I haven’t been the sister I could’ve been. I have probably failed my parents at what they expected me to be like as a sister. I look up and my mum and dad close the door and both walk up to me.

Even though I haven’t noticed it, my mum bends down and wipes a tear off my face. I haven’t noticed that I have been crying. She then hugs me on top of Sharp, who refuses to let me go. I can feel my breath is cramping up as my dad joins in on the family hug. I’m the least softy person in the family, and yet I sense tears are streaming down my face. Sharp finally releases his grip and my mum and dad give some space and just look at me. Pull it together, Sylvia, pull it together. But I can’t. This is all too much. I’m not supposed to be doing this. I’m not supposed to go the Games. I’m supposed to be the feisty kid at school. Not this. Not a tribute to the Games!

After a moment, I throw myself around my dad’s neck and just hug him. He holds me tight as he releases me slightly after a while. “Hey, honey, you’ll be fine. You’re one of the strongest girls there is. We should know that better than anyone.” He lets out. I shake my head as he lets me slip into his arms again. “I feel so bad…” I let out as he lets me go. “I feel so bad for who I’ve been to all of you.” I try to get rid of my tears, but mum stops me and does it with her own hand. “It’s just who you are, sweetie. You have nothing to be sorry about. If you were anything but the real you, then you’d have to be, but don’t be…you’ve just been who you truly are.” She lets out with a weak smile as I hug her. Then there’s a knock on the door. My brother runs over once more and squeezes the life out of me. “Time to go!” The peacekeeper by the door says as he enters the room and pulls them out of my grasp. Damn it, if I could punch them I totally would!

I’m just left standing there as the peacekeeper pulls them away. They are fierce and get them out rather quickly and in a matter of seconds they’re gone…just like that. I’m the little girl all on her own now. I walk those few steps to the door and barely touch it. They were just here…and now they’re not.

I take a few steps back in to the room when I hear the door open behind me. I figure it’s the peacekeepers, but I’m surprised when I turn around. “Axel?” I let out as I run into his arms and he just holds me tightly. We just stand there like that for a little while. I sob on his chest as he gently pats me on the back while holding me. “You were supposed to meet me at the hideout, remember?” He then lets out slightly smiling. I lightly shrug at the comment. I do remember. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.” I can’t manage to find any other words as I bury my face against his chest once more. “Don’t be, don’t be…hey!” He then says as I pull slightly away from him, trying to get it together. Come on, Mason! “It’s going to be okay, you hear me? You’re going to get out of there, I’m sure of it!” He then says to me. I shake my head. “How can you know that? I’m only fourteen year’s old! I’m not big, I’m not physically strong…I’m just a girl, Axel.” I protest. “It’s about attitude too, you know? You’ve got plenty of that…you might just have enough.” Axel then says trying to comfort me.

I can barely hear footsteps in the distance. Somehow I sense that Axel has heard them too. “What if it isn’t enough?” I then ask him. I don’t have faith that I can make it. I know my competition will be fierce. There are bound to be tributes stronger than me – hint: the careers. I look up at him as I wait for his reply. I’d never in a thousand years expect what he does next. He puts his hands on my cheeks and guides my lips up to his and they touch. Even though I never expected it, it everything I’ve ever imagined it would be. When he pulls away, it’s like I don’t want him to, but at the same time I’m scared of what this means. “You can do it. I believe that you can.” He then says. “Axel, what was that?” I then ask him as I look up at him. He touches my cheek gently. “Call it a motivator, Mason. I dare you to come back and find out.” He then says.

I smile weakly as I lean my head on his chest again. He holds me tightly as the footsteps outside come closer and closer. My breath is cramping up for every step that comes closer until the door behind Axel opens. Damn peacekeeper! Leave us the hell alone! “Your time is up!” He says he starts dragging Axel away, but I resist until another comes and forces me to let go. “You can do it!” I hear Axel say before the door is closed. After less than a minute, the door opens by a peacekeeper again. “Ms. Mason, it’s time to get to the train station.”

Oh joy, the train!

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Sligtly short, but there are goodies coming in the later chapters! ;)