Becoming Adamant [#1]

Chapter 27 - Gone

Blight and I don’t see much eye-to-eye on the trip. At this point, I only talk to Dess…and it seems like even he is a little watchful over me. Well, I don’t know what for. The fact that I’m still talking to any of them is a goddamn miracle after having gone through the Games. I’ve hated both of them through most of this, but I never thought I’d actually try more to have a conversation with a Capitol man, than someone from my own district…well, there you have it: the messed up reality of Sylvia Mason. This world has always been a messed up place, so I guess I shouldn’t really be surprised. Still though, it’s like I for the first time I actually want the attention, but I’m not getting it: it’s been a trip of firsts, that’s for sure.

Once the train has gotten up to speed, I try to catch some rest, but that’s nearly impossible when the Arena is still haunting me. The second I manage to drift off, I’m right back in that Arena and I wake up screaming every five minutes. It’s either bloodied tributes that I’ve killed or the freaking mutts coming out of nowhere. I can’t get away from any of it! Talon has been there every time…with the scars on his chest and abdomen…and then that Career girl from 1. I remember telling her I’d see her in hell. Who’d know that it’d take me this little amount of time to get there? I was so hoping it would take longer, but for me, it didn’t. Of course not. I guess this is what every victor lives with…it’s totally overrated though. Sometimes I wish that I just died in there. It would make it all so much easier.

I twist and turn, but in the end, I figure there’s no use in keep trying to sleep. I gather whatever courage and strength I have in me and walk out of my room and into the main area. Dess is nowhere to be seen. He’s probably at the bar. I think I’m kinda of expecting Blight to be as well, but I’m surprised when I find him in one of the chairs drinking…coffee?! I thought he’d stick to his liquor now that the Games are actually over. But then again, he withdrew from his part of the deal anyways so I’m guessing that’s actually guilt I’m seeing.

“And I thought you’d be at the bar at this time.” I let out as he finally acknowledges me. I say that rather sarcastically as I don’t really care what the hell he’s got in store for me. I rarely do care, but this particular time, I don’t. “And I thought you were going to do worse in that interview…” He lets out after looking up at me. I shrug even louder just to make sure he actually feels my sentiment to that reply. “Well, thank you for being such great support in there!” I let out in frustration as I’m about to head back to the room. I’m not gonna have this…this conversation with him is not even going to begin. “Sylvia…” He calls after me, but I turn around.

“No, just shut up, alright?! You agreed to leave the drinking while the Games were going on so that you could help us in the Arena. You know, the place where innocent children are forced to kill others?!” I then shout out angrily at him. “Why did you start drinking the first and only night when I was all alone in there?!” I ask him and then I just stare at him for the words to sink in. I know they’re making a huge impact on him by the way he just stays silent. God, why have I ever trusted that guy? He’s no good for anyone!

He still doesn’t say a word to me, and I’m guessing that’s my queue to just leave him there in his damn misery. I get to my room in a rapid pace and then just lie down on my bed. I turn my head towards the window as I see the Districts just flashing by as the train makes its way through the Panem landscape. After a few minutes though, I hear the doors open and I take a deep breath as I turn all the way around away from the door. I know who it is and I don’t want that poor excuse of a man in here, hell I don’t even want him in the same damn District either. As it seems, nothing is on my side these days.

“I received some news regarding someone in District 7…” He says. The way he says it makes me think he wants me to care, and a part of me is curious, but I don’t turn around. I’m trying to be stubborn here. “Listen, Talon was helping you to get back because Axel told him to.” Blight then starts. My eyes widen as I turn around. I’m about to ask why, but I then realize that I do know. However, there’s sadness to his voice. A sadness that has a way of unnerving me greatly. “Blight, what is it?” I’m scared…okay, that’s understatement: I’m freaking out! For a moment Blight just stands there with his coffee in his hand and takes a sip. It’s like he wants to look at me, but ends up with his eyes on the floor.