Becoming Adamant [#1]

Chapter 39 - At Stake

Between Dess and I there aren’t that many loud discussions. Then again, James has never been the one for the dramatic conversations…well, yet. Anything can happen at this point and I’m sure he’s gonna serve it to me at some point. But now, my thoughts spin other ways as the party is up by the President’s Garden and once more, everybody is trying to get a piece of me. I’m doing what I can to keep up my appearance from the interview, but hell, even I get tired of trying to keep my mask on all the time. The worst part is: I can’t manage to slip away from the attention. It’s not like I can hide off in a corner and be ignored. I’m the freaking main attraction!

As if that’s not enough, the prep-team is all over me as well. I mean, they’re basically forcing me to try all sorts of different food, even when I’m full. That’s when they give me this liquid thingy so that I throw up and have room for even more! I mean how sick is that?! People are starving in the Districts and here people eat, puke on purpose and then eat again! I’m sure District 12 wouldn’t mind some of that. Several places I saw people so underfed that it was a damn miracle they weren’t already dead! Yet here…it’s just, ugh! I can’t say anymore. I think I’ve made my point quite clear, don’t you?

Of course, Dess has left me on my own for a little while. I guess he needs a little breather after learning what he did in that interview. Now, he’s back in my company. “The President will make his appearance on the balcony really soon…” James says as he hands me a drink. “And before you ask, no, it’s not alcohol…imagine Blight’s face if it actually was. Come to think of it, he would probably be the one to give it to you.” He adds. I don’t comment, but I can totally imagine it, especially that last part. God, Blight would be tripping out, that’s for sure!

He stays quiet for a little while as it’s just the two of us at the end of the table with food. I know he feels kept in the dark, and in a way, he was. If he had Blight’s personality, he would yell it all at me right now. Dess on the other hand, is a Capitol-man. He would never do that. “When did he call you?” James then asks. Here we go. “Blight had been dead about five months…just before the Tour.” I answer. I hear him take a deep breath almost immediately. I’m sure he would’ve liked to know. “Why did you not tell me about this before the Tour? You do realize what it means when the President calls you like that, right?”

I don’t know where he’s going with this, but I’m about to get my first, real ‘talk’ from Dess. “Like only you know how to do, you’ve brought his attention upon yourself and it’s not a good thing, Sylvia. He’s going to make sure you know or find that part out for yourself.” He then says. “Oh, well, I can’t possibly imagine.” I answer back sarcastically. He sighs deeply as I can see he’s so far beyond what he’s used to. “Believe me, you will, Sylvia. This is not something to joke around about. You need to be serious about this!” He says firmly as the fireworks starts. The President is just about to make his appearance. Dess and I walk in silence, into the middle of the crowd to see.

“I bid you all welcome, to this magnificent event! Today, we celebrate the end of a Tour, the welcoming of a new Victor into our hearts.” The President starts as he seems to be looking for me in the crowd. He finds me as well, and I make sure he sees my reaction to his first words. Seriously, how fake can this man really be? He knows what I think about the people here, about him…they’re all just a bunch of brainless people. However, my heart is pounding as our eyes lock. I mean, this man is actually creepy! “To our new Victor, Sylvia Mason, we welcome you to the crowd and we salute you and your spirit…maybe one day, we can become inspired by it.” He says.

Before I even get time to make out some thoughts about his words, I feel a set of arms making its way around me, more specifically around my waist. Okay, what the hell is going on?! I’m about to jolt around before I’m held firmer. “Relax, Mason, it’s just your boy Odair.” I hear in a very seductive voice. I would’ve recognized that voice anywhere, but even if I didn’t, I look down to find a sugar cube in his hand. I grab it as I sense he’s pulling closer to me almost burying his face against my neck. “Of course it’s you…nobody else has the nerve to get this close to me.” I then whisper back as I keep my eyes on Snow, who seems to be looking back at me. “May you enjoy the rest of the evening…and the rest of your lives.”

At that last part, he’s looking at me. He must be seeing Finnick right behind me. Perhaps this is how he’s going to persuade me into this ‘thing’! “My, oh my, Mason. Finnick Odair lays his arms around whomever he pleases, haven’t you heard?” Finnick then says as I turn aware of him as he plants a kiss on my shoulder. Okay, that’s it! “What do you want, Odair?!” I then contain myself as I turn around to face him. “Oh, come on, aren’t you happy to see me?” He then says as I’ve managed to gain some people’s attention.

I have a quick glance around as I then see Finnick gesture my head closer. “Firstly, I’m gonna seduce you out of this crowd and you’re gonna play along.” He starts. I turn suspicious, but I try to play on whatever it is he’s got going on. “And then what?” I then ask acting playfully suspicious. I’m not sure how this looks though. “You and I are going to have a private chat.” He then answers back in the same tone. I go with it. The seducing thing, I mean. I play along on it with him. A part of me is having fun with it, but I know he doesn’t enjoy what he’s been forced to do. I know I won’t be if I’m in fact forced to. People around seem to gasp at the sight of me and Finnick leaving together. He’s known to please the women of the Capitol so I’m sure I know what people are thinking.

He pulls me into the palace and up on the second floor where he finds a room and locks the door. Jeez, he really knows his way around this place. We actually have an entire room to ourselves. God, that feels so good! I mean to have some sort of personal-space again! “Now this is not something I’m used to…” I let out. “What? Being alone in a bedroom with a boy?” Finnick asks me grinning. I give him a pouting face. “No, Mr. Odair, what I’m more on to is the fact that I have more than twenty centimeters of personal space!” I point out as he lifts surrendered on his shoulders. “Oh, yeah, with all the attention that is not exactly a luxury you get.” Finnick then answers as he seems to remember.

“So what are you so anxious to talk about, Odair?” I then ask him. “I happened to overhear you with your escort, Mr. Dess. Not to mention that I caught your interview…” He goes on. “And where are you going with this?” I then ask him. “Come on, Mason, you know where I’m going with this. You need to take whatever job Snow’s offered you. I have a feeling I already know what it is and that it seems impossible, but you have to do it.” “So I sell my own body, and let’s face it I’m selling my soul as well, to strangers right here in the Capitol?!” I then challenge him back as I see my own words hitting him pretty hard. “Mason, that’s how I’m keeping the ones I love alive! If there in fact was a choice, do you really think I would be here?!” He then asks me back.

Of course he wouldn’t be here if he could choose for himself. I know he wouldn’t, but the thing is, I don’t know if I can do this. That’s the problem here. “Finnick, you spend more time here in the Capitol than at home. I won the Games so I could come home, not play prostitute here!” I say, but of course, I fear I’ve been too direct with my use of words as Finnick’s face changes. “But then again, the time you do get at home, makes up for the time you spend here, Mason. I do what I do to protect the ones I love. Because of what I do, I get to be with my family when I come home, I get to be with the girl I love because Snow knows I’d do anything to keep all of them alive.”

There’s a pause as his words hit me…like really hit me. I know what he’s saying. I understand it, and I understand what he’s telling me to do. “If you thought the nightmares were the worst part, you’re wrong, Mason.” Finnick then says as he then leaves me to be on my own. I might just need that, a breather on my own. I take a deep breath as I sit down on the bed all by myself. In the process I make sure to mess up the bed just to let people think whatever the hell they want except for the fact that we just talked. I’m guessing Snow wouldn’t be too happy if he finds out that’s all we actually did.

Mostly however, I’m trapped inside my own head. All of this is really putting a real solid weight on top of my head. I have received not one, but two warnings regarding this offer that I’ve been given. I know what Dess is saying, I know what Finnick is saying, but I don’t really like what either one of them is telling me to do!