cacophony | ksy

ix

daeun didn't want to be on this date. youngmin was one of the least interesting people she had ever met, the only topic of the night being their mutual impairment.

being unable to hear may be a large part of daeun's life, but she didn't want to talk about it all the time.

god i just want to sit on my couch with soonyoung and binge-watch some dramas.

daeun almost slapped herself. here she was on a date with, albeit, a man lacking substance and yet all she could think of was soonyoung.

maybe it's just because he's around all the time. he's like my best friend. yeah that has to be it.

daeun has been trying to tell herself this for weeks now. she didn't know when, but suddenly she started seeing soonyoung as more than a friend, and that scared her.

sure it was one thing being friends with someone who could only read lips, but dating someone? daeun felt that—no knew that—soonyoung could do better than her. her insecurities regarding her lack of the listening sense continuously affected her life, her confidence in her place in soonyoung's life constantly being brought down.

she wasn't necessarily ashamed of herself, more like just uncomfortable with it. she longed to be able to hear again, to listen to every sound in songs, to hear water rushing and leaves crunching as she went on hikes, and even more. but more than anything she wished she could hear soonyoung's voice.

she knew he sung, sometimes she would visit him in the recording studio and she had no doubt he was amazing, but being unable to hear someone singing in a recording studio struck a cord within her that made her feel out of place.

not to mention the treatment she recieves. daeun always felt coddled by almost everyone. it seemed as if people saw her as a piece of glass, scared to say, do or touch anything in fear of upsetting her. her ears may be broken, but she isn't.

the first month of her friendship with soonyoung was full of questions of what was okay and what wasn't, what he should do while talking, and even what he should do when trying to get her attention. she appreciated the concern and while it may have been annoying at the time, she's glad they talked it through because now the pair are nothing but comfortable around each other. although sometimes he still knocks rather than ring the doorbell, which is followed by a thorough scolding, but what can you do?

the second month was full of soonyoung being amazed and curious about everything that aided her. the lights attached to her doorbell to signal that someone was there fascinated him: sometimes he would just ring the doorbell to see them go off.

another topic that peaked his curiosity was her hearing aids. he found them one day as she asked him to find a certain book, wedged into the corner of one of her shelves. he asked her why she never wore them and she explained that wearing them felt like she put a target on herself. they seemed to be the only thing people could see and they always made people treat her differently. besides she could only hear a small fraction of the noise she wanted to be able to hear while wearing them, so she didn't see the point.

that was the first time she had opened up to him about her impairment and it only allowed for them to grow even closer.

she just hoped she wouldn't have to explain how she lost her hearing any time soon.