OBSIDIAN ISSUE #1: PUSHED

TWENTY TWO

I used to be optimism's daughter, until I bear a child of disappointment. Expectation was my lover. But I broke things in between with my hope to cheat it with.

Dahil sa tinatahak naming daan ng mga sana ay sumasabay ang ugong ng kahilingan. Sana dito muna ako. Sana hindi muna ito magtatapos. Sana sa kahit maikling panahon ay wala muna akong iisipin kundi ang ngayon. Hindi ang nakaraan, bukas, o ang hinaharap. Because it's only too soon will I be a part of yet another rise of an end once the calls would reach to me.

The silence behaved end to end of the ride. Maliban sa ugong ng pagtakbo, maingay lamang ay panay sulyap ni Azriel sa akin. It's enough to clue me in that he wanted to say something. Nang huminto ang Ford sa harap ng gate nila ay hindi na siya nagpatumpik pa.

"Hindi kita pipilitin sa hindi mo gusto. But you, alone, in that house nursing two gunshot wounds, damn it but I won't risk that, Aleah. " There was force in his every word mounted with rasp.

Marahil may nahinuha siya sa aking reaksyon kaya nasabi niya ito. He thought I wasn't happy about moving in for the nonce, kahit iba naman talaga ang pinangangambahan ko.

"Ilang araw ako sa bahay niyo?" I asked.

His brows are meeting slightly, uncertain I was if it' s caused by his deep thinking or disapproval.

"Until you're entirely recovered," he said, though sans conviction.

Bumisita siya ng sulyap sa aking tagiliran at agad ring nanumbalik sa mukha. Pinakita ko ang aking pagtango.

I brought enough clothes to fill me in the whole one week or two. I am already reminding myself to visit the dormhouse once and a while. Naka-advance pay na rin naman kasi ako at may iilan na mga importanteng gamit ang naiwan. With the silent capability of my mind, I mentally traced the location of my gun's hideout. Naalala kong naiwan ang baril sa rest house. I didn't have it with me.

In truth, I still have qualms about this arrangement. I just thought it's inappropriate despite it being short lived for a vague amount of time. Iisipin ko na lang siguro na stay-in job ito. Kaya ko ba talagang isipin iyon pagkatapos ng hindi malilimutan na ganap kahapon? O noong mga nakaraang araw? You're only fooling yourself, Rosephine.

Nakababa na kami ng sasakyan. I was about to close the gate ngunit naunahan ako ni Azriel at siya ang nagsara.

Isang malakas na bagsak ng pinto ay napatalon ako. An excited Maddox is running his way to my direction. Napangiti agad ako sa tumatalbog niyang buhok. Hahakbang pa lamang ako ay nayakap na niya ang aking mga binti. I could have fallen off my butt kung hindi lang sa kamay ni Azriel na agad pumigil sa aking likod.

Napawi ang ngiti ko sa narinig na hikbi. I looked at Azriel only to meet the heavy menace warring against tenderness. Nang bumaba iyon sa anak niya ay yumukod ako upang pantayan si Maddox na pilit yumuyuko at tinatakpan ang mga mata sa likod ng kamay.

"Hey...ba't ka umiiyak?" lambing ko. I cupped his face and dried his wet pinkish cheeks.

His shoulders rised too much and sank too low, hirap siyang magsalita. An attempt escape of words were swallowed back by his sob and shyness. Nilapit ko siya sa akin upang tahanin. Marahan kong hinawakan ang kanyang kamay at binaba nang dahan-dahan para masilip ko ang mukha niya.

"I thought..h-hindi ka na b-babalik...you're gonna be like mom..." his voice trembled.

The last cold spot of my heart has throughly evanesced into a wake of yesterday's memory. Kinulong ko ang mukha niya sa mga kamay ko. Noong una ay ayaw pa niyang sumunod ngunit nakuha rin mag angat ng tingin. His wet lashes are heavy with stubborn tears hanging on the tips. His youthful pinkish lips semi-pouted from what I did.