OBSIDIAN ISSUE #1: PUSHED

THIRTY NINE

My eyes were still seared from the red-hot tears. Pinakiramdaman ko ang pagtila ng ulan na siyang gumising sa akin. I heard the wake of loud but infrequent drops from the heavy pour last night and the hum of insects from the trees nearby.

Azriel held me the whole night I was crying. The distracting tight grip around my torso was the proof. At kahit nakalma na ay hindi siya kumalas. With his right leg draping itself on top of mine and face digging on my hair, I don't remember him shifting behind me as his strong and broad front never left a space on my crouching back, like a puzzle snugly fitting in with my fetal position.

My heart kicked for an aggressive race. Gradually recalling my last night's outburst and reaction, I suddenly thought of pretending to be asleep until he decides to descend the bed. It could buy me some time to get a grip on my barely hanging confidence. Dahil hindi ko alam paano siya haharapin. It shamed me! Lalo pa roon sa tanong niya. Para sa isang seryosong bagay, hindi ko man lang ito matratong normal. I want to move and just ignore him all day but who am I kidding? As if he'd let that happen.

Dumilat ako at nagpasyang gumalaw. In any way, wala pa rin naman akong kawala. I held his arm as a leverage as I turned to him slowly. Marahan lamang dahil ramdam ko pa ang mga daliri niyang naiipit sa pagitan ng kama at baywang ko. Hindi ko pa siya tuluyang natanaw ay narinig ko na siya.

"Morning..." The sleepy rasp from his throat vibrated in my bones.

I wonder how he could tell I was looking when his eyes were closed?

Hindi na ako nakagalaw. His dark lashes quivered when his eyes prepared to open until they did dramatically. Malamlam, antok, ngunit mabigat at nanlalamon. Umiwas ako at mas naradamdaman pa ang apoy ng kahihiyan. Did he really say it last night?

He sighed but apparently not from something negative. Tumama ang mainit na hininga niya sa pisngi ko dahilan ng pagbaling ko muli sa kanya. His stare remains the same.

I went back staring at the ceiling and realized that he is indeed here! Hirap pa rin akong pag-isipan ang pakikitungo sa kanya pagkatapos ng sinabi niya at ang reaksyon ko. I feel like a teenager having his first crush problems. Nakakainis!

Ang isang daliri niyang naiipit sa katawan ko't kama ay biglang sumundot sa aking likod. I jumped and immediately look at him. My heart punched harder when his lips lifted a smirk habang pumipikit pikit pa ang mga mata niya.

Is he trying to get my attention? Wala pa nga akong naisip na sasabihin.

Binalikan ko ang kisame. Narinig ko ang marahan niyang tawa. In my peripheral, I could see his shoulder shaking from his silent laughter while tightening his hold around me, dahilan din ng pagkakalapit ko sa kanya sa panay mahigpit nitong hawak. From the edge of my stomache, his hand crept further to my back then suddenly pushed it making me roll at my side, the side that is facing him. Meanwhile in side lying, siniksik ni Azriel ang kaliwang braso sa ilalim ng ulo ko para gawing unan. He lifted it to bring my head onto his armpit.

Sa parehong braso, nanatili ang kamay niya sa likod ng balikat ko para ipirmi ang aking posisyong nakaharap sa kanya. To firmly nail me in place, his jean clad leg returned to my almost bare one, caging them so they would stay put!

"Better..." he sighed, content, then lazily kissed my forehead.

My face warmed from the gesture. Kumurap ako't tinitigan siya. I couldn't utter a single word from my shock and from concentrating his addictive manly scent, too.. His lips pursed saka dinungaw ako. Maliksi akong nag-iwas at binaba ang tingin sa dibdib niya. Wala sa sarili kong pinaglalaruan ang maninipis na balahibo roon.