OBSIDIAN ISSUE #1: PUSHED

FORTY FOUR

Malalim na hininga ang aking pinakawalan. The determination I just had while standing in front of their gate a moment ago now only lives barely as soon as I stepped inside their home. Hindi na ako sigurado kung may katuturan pa ba itong ginagawa ko. It felt like this doesn't make any sense, losing the reason why I should be here anymore.

Nanatili akong nakatayo, trying to unwelcome myself as I sought for a reasonable alibi to leave while watching Amberlyn's husband hold her waist and settle his pregnant wife down the sofa, full of care and attention.

"Thanks, love," dinig ko ang mahinhin na pagkakasabi nito.

A sudden warmth sheltered my chest and who knows where it came from. Hindi ko maabanduna ang paningin ko sa dalawa.

"D' you want me to stay here with you?" the husband asked, almost whispering to her.

"No, it's fine. Hindi niya ako sasaktan. We're just going to talk," Amberlyn assured him. Tinapik ang pisngi ng asawa para mas ipaalam na maayos nga ito. Her husband doesn't seem convinced.

He remained crouching, staring at his wife intently bago nilipat sa akin ang tingin na biglang dumilim at naging mapanghusga. I didn't take any offense to it seeing that I'm only a familiar face, close to being a stranger.

Sa huli ay bumuntong hininga ito at lumamlam ang mga matang may pagsuko nang bumaling muli sa asawa.

"Alright," he muttered. "Call me when you need anything."

He turned for the kitchen to leave us alone. Hindi ko na sana inalintana ngunit naramdaman ko ang nanliliit na sulyap nito sa akin habang dumaan siya sa harap ko. I'm not sure if I am familiar to him as just someone he had met years ago or who's face was plastered on national television for my crimes.

Noong kami na lang dalawa ay lumala ang kagustuhan kong umalis. I have grown more awkward myself being alone with the woman Azriel had once been involved with. Habang siya ay napakapanatag at nakangiting hinihintay ang aking pag-imik. But minutes passed , and I have never even breathed a vowel.

"Sorry, I wasn't able to get your name. Pero pamilyar ka talaga sa akin," Amberlyn revived the lamented words.

"Rosephine," I said, a hint of rush in my tone. "Nagkita na tayo noon. I was with Azriel as his son's babysitter..."

"Oh, I remember now! You look different...though..." she gushed.

She was genuinely surprised. Medyo namumula ang pisngi nang mag-react na gulat at masaya.

Why, I can't help my insecurities to reunite with me. Ang kutis ko ay hindi kasing kislap ng sa kanya. I am fair-skinned with tiny freckles at the sides of my nose and my eyes are doe-eye wide. While she seems to have no imperfections at all. The way she moves, very prim and feminine. Even Phoebe has those qualities. Kung ipagtatabi kaming tatlo, ako talaga ang may malaking mata. Makikita agad na ako ang pinaka-naiiba. And they also have the sweetest voices! Ako minsan, maangas magsalita at naghahamon pa. I am not very girly like them. I think I have never been.

"About Maddox. I heard he's back. Kumusta na pala sila?"

Bago ko pa iyon masagot ay lumabas muli ang asawa niya sa mula sa kitchen, may dalang inumin. It was uncalled for and having witnessed the way the man peered at me, tila ba may ibang dahilan bakit niya ginagagwa ito. And I have proven it when after he put the glass of juice infront of me, dumiretso siya sa tabi ng asawa at nanatili roon, nakahalukiphip at patuloy akong hinuhusgahan sa mala-lawin na mga mata niya.

"Rai..." Amber's warning has the lilt of humor with it. May aliw na nilingon ang asawa, nagpipigil ng ngiti. " I said it's okay."

"Fine, I'll go."