OBSIDIAN ISSUE #1: PUSHED

THIRTY FIVE

Azriel had to put taking me to his apartment off. Dismayado ako noong una ngunit nang pinaalala sa akin ang nalalapit naming pre-lims ay natanggap ko rin ang desisiyon nito kalaunan.

It quite took a few seconds before it hit me. To be disappointed wasn't a bad thing really, but the amount of shame it threw me in went to a point where I had to put it out of sight. He might think that I'm too obsessed with him and with what we're doing! Takot ako sa iisipin niya na iyon na ang nagiging intensyon ko sa halip na ang mag-aral!

Kaya sa buong weekdays, I've been trying to convince myself. Wala akong ibang inatupag kung 'di ang magbasa. Review. Focus sa lectures. There were times where I had to pass up our meetings in his car every night just so I could focus and authenticate my resolve.

He didn't force me, though. Sa tingin ko nga sinadya niya akong anyayahan dahil noong tumanggi ako isang gabi, his smirk was filled with so many meanings. He's testing me, for sure, and I passed.

Paghinga ko'y malalim nang pagod kong sinara ang libro. My mind's draining from the information overload, pero nagawa pa ring sumingit sa isip ko na hindi man lang siya nakapag-text. Habang tumatagal na ganito, lalo akong hindi makapag-concentrate! My quiz scores have almost sunk to an all time low. Him not doing anything went beyond torture than just the mere thought of our exams!

"Okay ka lang?"

Pailalaim akong tinitigan ni Eolande. An open notebinder in front of her. We're in the cafeteria and it's almost lunch time. Since dinismiss kami ng alas diyez at ala una pa ang next exam, dito na kami nanatili para diretso kain na.

"You look depressed. Ngayon lang 'yan, a?" Inangat niya shake sa bibig at tipid na sumimsim, that without taking her suspicious but worried chinky eyes off of me.

"Yul, ilang taon na ulit kayo ng boyfriend mo?" random kong tanong.

A skeptic look journeyed over her face before she replied. "Three years. Why?"

"Never ko pa siyang na-meet."

Nagkagatla ang noo niya at mabilis naibaba ang shake. Nanatili roon ang tingin ko para maiwasan ang pagkakabasa niya sa akin. But I think even without meeting her stare, she can tell.

"He's abroad. Long distance kami. At saka... hindi sa wala akong tiwala sa'yo but I know the man's capabilities once they had the glimpse of you. Ganda mo, e. Kainis. Ayaw mo ba talaga pumayag sa pictorial na sinasabi ko sa'yo? Bet ka ng photographer. He saw your picture."

Umirap ako. She can always find a way in to compliment me just so we'd arrive to the topic. Ilang beses na rin niya akong kinumbinse and my answer is always a default...

"'Yoko. No."

At alam kong walang katotohanan ang sinabi niya tungkol sa kasintahan. If he has that capability, their romance should have already rocked down a long time ago.

She huffed in front of me. Like a six year old who 's about to have a tantrum attack. Nilihim ko ang ngiti dahil hindi siya nagtagumpay sa pagkumibinse sa akin.

"What's with you today ba? Nahahawa na ako sa 'yo," she uttered impatiently.

"I wish nahawa ka rin ng kasipagan kong mag-aral."

"Ay! Hindi mangyayari 'yan. No, no...." Mahinang hampas nito sa mesa at umiiling-iling. "So, ano? Iiwasan mo nalang tanong ko?" she asked coyly.

Pumalumbaba ako. "Gaano kadalas kayo mag-chat ng boyfriend mo? Video call ba kayo araw-araw?"

Before I'd have to ask, I knew my interrogation would lead me to my aim without having to appear that I intended so. Nagawa ko naman na 'to noon. I just hope my skill is still alive and conclusive.