OBSIDIAN ISSUE #1: PUSHED

TWENTY SIX

"Kanina ka pa?"    

I tried to sound as innocent as I could. Tinitipid ko ang paghinga para hindi maipakita ang kaba pero binigo naman ng panginginig ng boses ko. My thirst for water was quenched by guilt which is now taking over in my veins.

He rewarded me with ominous silence. Parang sasabog na ang puso ko sa walang humpay na paninitig niya. His dark unapologetic eyes inquisitively swept from my head down to my toe...torturously slow not wanting to miss any details on the spaces of my skin.

"Hindi kita makontak." His low calm tone reverberated in my  chest. Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa mukha ko. "Did you turn your cell off?"

The clink of his car keys didn't let the silence reign when he shifted without taking his wary eyes off me.

"Uh, oo..." I swallowed.  

"Where have you been? Wala ka raw kanina. I made Marlon check on you."

The concern and half panic in his tone have somehow pressed a hand of calmness in my distressed heart. Hindi niya ako narinig kanina kung ganoon? And if he's still acting like this, then I can only guess that his suspicion of me didn't reach to him. At least, not yet.

"Sa mall, may binili lang..."

I find it hard to stare at him after that lie. I am giving away myself too much. Sa kanya lamang ako nahihirapan na magkunwari. This is new. At ngayon, naiinis ako sa sarili dahil ninais ko na ayaw muna siyang masilayan  para lang hindi ako makapagsinungaling ulit.

Because the best way to avoid an offense is to steer clear of the man I have inflicted the offense to.

Humakbang si Azriel para pumasok. Bago pa siya makadalawa ay humarang na ako. His brows furrowed dangerously. He tilted his head to the side. Kabado ako sa balak niya at sa naging reaksyon nito sa aking pagpigil. I tried to smile but failing is what I do best these past few days. 

"Ba't ka nandito?" Kahit ang boses ko ay hindi kayang magkunwari. 

"I want to see you. Is that a problem?" A tinge of confusion and impatience blended in his tone. 

Kinagat ko ang labi ko. My lack of words is torturing me. Nang mag-angat ng tingin ay naninimbang ang madilim niyang mga mata. I palpitated by that mere cold and sharp stare but trying to muster the face of calm. Gusto kong umiwas dahil nasisilaw ako pero mas nais kong may patunayan sa kanya kaya tinapangan ko ang pagtitig pabalik. 

"Wala naman. Uhm...kakain ako kina ate Janna sa baba. Sama ka? Tara, baba na tayo!" I eagerly said.

Kinuha ko ang kamay niya at hinila na siya palabas. I thought it would be a successful escape until a resistance was felt at the end. Without a warning, my body sprang back to him with so much force I thought my arm was taken out of my anatomy. Agad lumingkis ang braso ni Azriel sa baywang ko upang idikit ako sa kanya.

Nasa dibdib niya ang kamay ko. I instantly felt the blatant rise and fall of his hard chest. The sensitive heart inside has reached the field of my palm, stabbing the skin with its wild beating. 

Hindi ko masigurado kung hinila niya ba talaga ako o dahil iyon sa taglay niyang lakas kaya walang kahirap hirap niya akong napaigkis. Tumindi ang pangamba ko lalo na ngayong siya na itong humihila sa akin pabalik sa loob, lingkis pa rin ang braso sa aking baywang at parang binubuhat na ako.

My feet barely touch the ground as he dragged me inside. I tried to resist pero naisandal na niya ako sa pinto.

He planted his hand at the surface beside my head and the whole room resumed the war between dimlight and the dark as he pushed the door to close behind me. His body fluidly moved closer, as if naman may maaatrasan pa ako.