Relatively Dependent

Relatively Dependent - Part Eleven

Partying became something we did a lot of once Jamie'd started College. He made all these new friends and every weekend he'd have two or three parties lined up for us to go to. Seemed to me that College was less about learning anything and more about building your tolerance to drugs and alcohol. A tiny part of me regretted giving up on School when I learned what College was really like. Jamie didn't toss off his education like I did and even though he'd spend half the week drunk or hung over he still managed to get A's in everything. I guess the difference between me and Jamie is he had parents at home that made sure he did well in School, they kept him from losing his head. Imagine what that'd be like, to have parents that actually gave a shit about you.

Even though Jamie and I went our separate ways after High School we still saw enough of each other. We'd catch up when he'd finish School and I'd see him just about every weekend. Of course there were times when we didn't see each other for a while and that sucked, but Jamie always made the effort to keep me in his life. I know it wasn't always easy being my friend, I still had that angry chip on my shoulder and there were times when I'd lash out at Jamie with no good reason. But still, it didn't seem to matter what I said or did he'd find a way to fix things between us. I never meant to lose my temper with Jamie, ever. He'd always been a good kid to me and I know he never deserved to cop my temper but I'd get jealous sometimes. When he started making all these new friends at College I felt like I didn't belong in his life anymore. Even though he'd wanna' hang out every weekend and he'd always take me to those parties I still had it in my head that I didn't belong. I know I sound pathetic and I know Jamie didn't push me out, he included me in everything. Think I've just got a problem when it comes to sharing people, just get real super possessive, like how I was with Blake.

I did force myself to make an effort to be good to Jamie's friends and after a while it didn't feel so forced. Some of his mates were alright, Jamie's the kinda' guy that can be friends with anyone though so he could be friends with an asshole just as easy as a nice guy. Guess that explains how he was friends with me. Honestly, I don't think any of Jamie's new friends were assholes, they were all pretty chill and just liked to party and drink. I'd be standing around with them at a party, laughing along at their stories or whatever but on the inside I'd be stewing about how they were taking Jamie away from me. I'm such a weird kid. I knew it was all just in my head, that I was being crazy and irrational so when I'd get like that I'd try and keep my distance from Jamie so I didn't wind up snapping at him. Sometimes he'd push me though, he'd wanna' know what was wrong or why he hadn't seen me for the week or whatever and that's when I'd snap. Must've been so hard to put up with me sometimes.

So, one night we went to this party out at one of Jamie's mates places, Fred's. He lived out of town on this big property and about once a month he'd throw these insane parties in his shed. About fifty people would turn up, sometimes more, and everyone would get insanely drunk and crash there the night. Fred's parties were always guaranteed to be a good night. No fights, no craziness, just everyone getting smashed and having a good time. Fred's a good guy as well, kind of reminds me a lot of Jamie so that made Fred's parties pretty much my favourite to go to. He always looks after everyone, makes sure everyone has a drink and is having fun. He makes sure no one gets in their car if they've been drinking and he welcomes anyone into his home. Just a top bloke that guy is.

A lot of the time before Jamie and I would head out to a party I'd get really anxious, like to the point where I'd need to have a few drinks before we could go or I'd turn into a nervous wreck. Not Fred's parties though, never got like that over one of his parties, I was so keen to have a good night. I wasn't in a shit mood with anyone, I'd managed to swipe a bottle of Bacardi from the bar at work and I had half a dozen condoms stuffed in my wallet, ya' know, just in case. The last time I'd been at one of Fred's parties I'd managed to hook up with some chick there so I was pretty keen for that to happen again. Was all set for a good night, but, like I said, just wasn't gunna' happen for me.