Relatively Dependent

Relatively Dependent - Part Seven

It was a couple weeks before School went back when Blake and I moved into our own apartment. When I asked Blake why we were moving he said the main reason was because he missed me. I was completely bewildered by that.

"I know you can't have your friends over at the Pub so now you can have them here and I'll get to see you more than twice a week."

Felt so guilty when he said that to me... I didn't think he even wanted to see me. We'd been fighting a lot and he was always working, just thought he was sick of me or something.

Our apartment was as small as a shoebox but it wasn't a complete shit hole. Had a few holes in the walls which we covered over with posters. Had some mould in the bathroom and along some of the windows so Blake cleaned it up and painted over it. Had a few things wrong with it but we made it work. Once I got used to it, it was actually a really nice change being out of the Pub. I could actually get some sleep at the apartment, there wasn't music blaring all night long, no drunk assholes stumbling into your room. Was a really good change for us. I mean I liked the Pub enough, I didn't know any different so I didn't think twice about it but now I wouldn't go back for a million dollars—Well, a million dollars I guess I would but you know what I mean.

Moving into that apartment felt like a fresh start for us and in the beginning I felt really good about it all. Blake changed his shifts so he was only working nights and he managed to get every second weekend off so he could spend more time with me. Monday night's Charlie would either come over to our apartment or we'd go to the Pub and have dinner together. I wasn't real keen on that but I know it made Blake happy when I'd just smile and play nice so that's what I did—most of the time. Things were running a lot smoother for us than they had been the year before.

When School went back I pulled my finger out and made an effort to get my grades back up, for Blake. With him starting work later and getting weekends off I really didn't have much choice in the matter since he was around a lot more to keep an eye on me. However, as the year went on things started to fall apart again. Because I'd slacked off so much the year before I really struggled to keep up in class. I was always a step behind, always missing something, I'd really shot myself in the foot being such a slacker. Jamie tried to help me out, we'd make plans to study together after School but somehow, ninety percent of the time, we'd wind up playing games instead of studying. We had the right idea, just kinda' sucked at following through with it all.

Blake'd try and keep on top of my School work but I'd gotten so good at spinning lies he was oblivious to how badly things were going. I felt bad, really bad, knowing that at the end of first term he'd see I was heading towards failing half my classes but I didn't know how to fix it. I'd been lying to him for weeks about how well I was going I didn't know how to turn around and tell him I was struggling. So, I didn't. At the end of first term when we were given our report cards and I just shit myself thinking how pissed off Blake would be at me. I started spiralling, thinking he'd scream at me, kick me out and he'd never speak to me again. Yeah, I liked to jump on the crazy train a lot. I spent all day spinning my webs of lies, trying to concoct a story that would excuse me from ever having to show Blake my report card.

When I came home Blake was waiting for me, like always, but the look on his face said that somehow he already knew how shit I'd done that term. I couldn't face him, not even to tell him my elegant lie I'd spent all day crafting. I went straight to my room, didn't say hi, didn't ask how he was, just went straight to my room and started sweating like a bastard. I knew it wouldn't be that easy to avoid him but how I hoped I could.