That Was Then

29-Now

Before Kya can recover from my comment, I hurry into the kitchen for refuge. Allie and Tatum are trying to organize a card game around the large dining room table. Aiden and Vivi finally emerge from their own little world and slide into chairs next to one another at the table.

"Come play!" Allie calls to me.

"Yesss! Come play!" Caleb slurs. He is definitely drunk now.

"Girl, you certainly have an affect on that guy!" Eden says in my ear. I give her a quizzical look. "I have seen him drunk more than a few times but never sloppy drunk like this! I feel like there's more to this story," she gestures between Caleb and me, "than you're letting on." Guilty as charged, but no way am I telling her all of the sordid details. So I just shrug.

Allie is trying to teach everyone at the table a drinking game but even Vivi, who I'm pretty sure is on the sober side, doesn't understand it. They argue over what to play for a few minutes, Jackson suggests a game and they all shut him down in unison before he can even begin to explain it. Drinking games happen to be a subject that Petra and I studied in depth at Hotchkiss on boring weekends in our dorm room. I squeeze in between Jackson and Caleb on the bench seat, take the cards from Allie and teach them a game called electricity. Everyone else proceeds to get wasted while Eden and I just get sugar high from our sodas. She winks at me when I excuse myself to "refill" my drink.

Marley eventually makes her way into the dining room but Seth and Kya do not. I assume they are either fighting or making up.

Caleb's hand rests on my lower back between games, tracing slow circles on the bare skin under my shirt. I know he's only doing it because he's drunk but I allow myself to enjoy it anyway. Aiden keeps us laughing but Caleb is too far gone for their usual banter. At some point, in the early hours of the morning we cut him off. He gets a little belligerent when he notices that we have replaced his drinks with water. "This is not what I ordered!" He tells Eden, his voice a little playful and a little irritated.

"Dude, you do not want to deal with a hangover tomorrow," Aiden tries to reason with him.

"I don't get hangovers!" Caleb uses my shoulder to help himself stand and goes off in search of another drink.

"You are cut off!" Allie shouts, her volume control lost to her a few drinks ago.

"I am a big boy, I decide when I'm done," he stumbles into the kitchen and Aiden goes after him.

"I have to pee," Vivi stands, teeters, and heads off toward the bathroom.

"Me too!"

"Me three!" Allie and Tatum follow her.

Marley glares across the table at me and it occurs to me that I have never actually heard her speak. Weird. She has a serious face and somewhat droopy eyes, making her look sleepy all the time. She has a very small chin but she just might be pretty if she would just smile. I hold her gaze for a minute, I don't want her to think I'm intimidated by her and then I turn to the only other person left at the table. Jackson Terdy.

"I remember you, from before," he tells me. I scoot away from him, no need to sit so close now that there is nobody on the other side of me.

"I remember you too, you put gum in my hair. And tied my shoelaces to a chair."

He chuckles dismissively, "oh, you know how kids are." I don't laugh. "Okay okay, I was a jerk. But ya know, the only reason I picked on you was because I liked you.." he gives me a smile that I imagine he thinks is sexy or charming. It's not.

I can't help but laugh at this proclamation. Jackson looks offended. "Does that line ever actually work for you?"

"It's not a line, I'm serious." He gives me puppy dog eyes and slides closer to me. "How about you let me show you how much I've changed?"

"Not interested." I tell him.

"Oh c'mon." He places a hand on my knee and starts sliding it up my thigh. 

"Yeah, no..." I start to remove his hand from my leg when he is suddenly hauled backwards. His eyes widen as he flies off the bench and Caleb slams him into the wall.

"What the fuck, man?!" Jackson's voice gets all high pitched and his feet dangle a few inches above the floor.

"She said she's not interested," Caleb growls, his black Erie High t-shirt is pulled taut over his biceps. Aiden and another huge guy grab onto Caleb, pulling him off of Jackson. I look around the room and everyone wears the same surprised look. I can't figure out how to feel. Shocked, surprised, embarrassed, flattered, concerned? All of the above. "I think... I think it's time for me to go home," he says and pulls his keys out of his jeans. Aiden stares at his best friend like he doesn't even know the guy. Caleb is not so wasted that he misses this. "Chill out man, I'm not going to drive! She is." He tosses me the keys. Or at least he tries to, his aim is off and they land on the floor a few feet to my right. Aiden is not appeased by this.

"She's been drinking all night too!" If Aiden was drunk, this conversation is having quite a sobering affect on him.

"Just soda," I smile sheepishly, keeping my voice quiet enough so that only Aiden, Eden and Caleb hear me. Eden nods in confirmation.

Vivi is torn, Aiden told her she could stay and Eden offered to give her a ride later but she decides to catch a ride with Caleb and me. But only after she and Aiden exchange numbers. I say my goodbyes to everyone except Marley, Kya and Seth are still nowhere to be found, and Caleb is waiting for us in his truck. It's an old green ford and I can still see his face the day he had finally saved enough money to buy it. That was right before... before things got bad.

Aiden slaps a gigantic water bottle into Caleb's lap, "drink it all!" Vivi and Aiden hug and I hold my breath when I think he's going in for a kiss, but they just hug again. Finally, she slides into the middle seat through the driver's side and we're off.

I think that Caleb is asleep, slumped against the passenger's side door but when I get back into the truck after letting Vivi out he's looking at me. He pats the spot right next to him, "Blakely, come closer!"

"I can't!" I laugh, "I'm driving!" He pouts. "You come closer," I find myself saying before I think it through. He crawls across the bench seat and lays his head on my lap. "Sit up! I can't drive like that!" He listens reluctantly.

"You're bossy," he grumbles.

"Drink your water," I tell him and he does. He doesn't speak for the rest of the ride home. I get him another water bottle and make him take some Tylenol before putting him to bed. The bedroom is technically a guest bedroom but it might as well be Caleb's. The room has always been decorated to suit him. It is different than I remember, gone are the bunk beds with Broncos comforters and sports paraphernalia covering the walls, replaced by a queen sized bed with a simple dark green comforter. The walls have been painted a light brown and are bare save for a Clemson pennant hung above the desk that is littered with school books.

"Blankie," he calls when I go to leave the bedroom. Blankie is the nickname he called me when he was little. Neither of us have any actual recollection of this but Abuela and Mama love to tell the story. One day he kept crying and saying Blankie over and over and they kept trying to figure out what blanket he wanted. But he was just trying to say Blakely, he just wanted me. "Don't go yet," he reaches for me. I should go, but I don't. I take a few steps back into the room and let him draw me down onto his bed next to him.