That Was Then

67-Now

I lie in bed that night with my fingers hovering over the keypad on my phone. It's been radio silence from Caleb all day, no texts and I didn't even see him at lunch. I'm trying to respect that he needs to concentrate on football right now but I want to talk to him so badly. I've already apologized a half a million times for being a shitty, selfish girlfriend. What more can I say?

I finally just say goodnight and put my phone down. And then I pick it up and put it back down again. I don't expect a response but am still upset when I don't get one.

I try unsuccessfully to fall asleep but a million different thoughts swirl around in my head. What's going to happen with Caleb? Is he really nervous about the Clemson scout? How could I not have known? Is he going to go to the dance tomorrow? Should I still go to the dance? I wonder if Kya will do something. Should I say something to her? Call a truce? Is Vivi still mad at me?

I circle my left wrist with my thumb and forefinger. It feels naked without my charm bracelet. I searched everywhere after school and still couldn't find it. I'm hopeful that Abuela will be here in the morning so I can ask her if she's seen it.

It's well after midnight before my head finally quiets down and I can fall asleep.

I'm cranky when I wake up but I dress dutifully in black and orange. I hesitate before putting on Caleb's jersey but decide I want to show my support even if he is going to dump me. When I couldn't sleep the night before I'd braided my hair and I undo the braids and finger comb my hair, happy for the low maintenance.

The beautiful pale blue dress Mama made for me hangs from my closet, red heels on the floor just waiting to be worn. Vivi, Mara and Eden are supposed to come over and get ready with me after the football game. They're playing right after school today and then the dance starts at eight. My stomach clenches, my first dance since The Dance. Sometime around midnight last night when I couldn't shut my brain off, I decided that even if Caleb isn't going to go with me, I need to go to the dance.

I trudge downstairs, lured by the smell of coffee and bump into Abuela in the kitchen. Her mood is quite literally the polar opposite of mine. I'm dragging my feet and she's twirling in circles and singing in Spanish. She is wearing a white linen shirt with colorful flowers embroidered on the sleeves and her brown eyes twinkle.

"Mija," she grabs my hand and twirls me around, "buenos días!" She stops twirling when she sees the grumpy look on my face. "Qué pasa?"

Caleb must not have told her about what is going on with us. Of course he didn't, he has way more to worry about than us. I'm certainly not going to be the one to tell her. "Oh... uh, I just lost my bracelet." I grasp my naked wrist sadly.

"Oh," she exclaims and turns to cupboard next to the sink. When she turns back around she is holding my precious bracelet in her hand. "I found it yesterday morning and I put it aside for you! I thought I could catch you before school but then I had to run an errand. Your dad was out of that coffee he loves..." she trails off and waves her empty hand dismissively.

"Oh, thank you thank you thank you!" I hug her and feel at least a little less grumpy. But still not quite like dancing around the kitchen. She offers to put it on for me and I hold up my wrist, palm down. She knows the scar is there as well as I do but I don't like to look at it. The metal is cold and familiar against my skin. She secures the clasp and smiles as she admires the charms.

"Muy hermosa." Abuela runs a dark red manicured fingernail along the interlocking heart charm. The two hearts move against one another. "This one is new?"

"Yeah," I smile, "I got it last week." I didn't know Abuela paid that much attention to my bracelet. She spins the bracelet along my wrist looking at the other charms.

She pauses at the snowflake charm, "this one is my favorite." The tiny jewels in the snowflake wink up at us. "It reminds me of your cast, you remember?"

"I remember," I smile at the memory of Caleb sweetly decorating my cast.

"And this one," Abuela laughs as she pinches the three legged dog charm between her fingers. "Everything Caleb had to do to get this little dog charm with three legs," she chuckles and shakes her head. I knit my brows together, confused. Everything Caleb did? But wasn't the bracelet from my parents?

"Caleb?" I rack my brain, the bracelet had simply arrived one day when I was at treatment. It was in a box addressed to me and when I opened it there was a smaller rectangular box with my name printed on it. There hadn't been a card or a note or anything, I remember checking. Had I just assumed it was from Dad and Mama? I must have.

"He never told you?" She releases the bracelet and my arm falls limply to my side. "Oh, he called all over trying to have it specially made but apparently a custom made three legged dog charm was too expensive. So he made friends with the shop teacher at school and he helped him cut the leg off of that tiny little dog! He had to get it just right for you!" She grins and my jaw is practically falls off of my face. I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around this. The bracelet, my bracelet, is from Caleb.