That Was Then

71- Now

Caleb looks so good it makes my chest ache. His pants are off white with a deep crease down the leg and his button down shirt is the exact same shade of red as my shoes, which has to be Mama and Abuela's doing. His hands are shoved deep into his pockets and he rocks back and forth on his heels. I can't take my eyes off of him.

"Dammmn..." Vivi says appreciatively and for a split second I think she's talking about Caleb because that's one of the words running through my head. But of course she's talking about Aiden.

The four of us spill from the limo before the driver can even open the door for us. Aiden takes Vivi's arm and I practically cry with relief when Caleb holds out his hand to me as I step out of the limo. His golden eyes twinkle as they travel slowly from my Louboutins up to meet my eyes.

"You look beautiful," he whispers in my ear.

Jackson offers his arm to Eden and we all laugh when she opts to loop hers through Mara's instead. Allie and Tatum snap a few pictures in front of the limo with their dates and then Kya starts orchestrating a group shot on the stone steps in front of the building. To my surprise, she includes me in this.

"Blakely," she orders, "you and Caleb over here." She looks me up and down, gaze lingering on my red shoes. I doubt she remembers what I wore the night of the last dance we attended together because of course that night didn't have the same impact on her as it did on me. But I don't think the nod to the ketchup is completely lost on her. That, or she just likes my shoes.

I'm mildly disappointed that her dress isn't green like it was that night. Instead she wears a black dress, the top part has a deep lace v neck and the bottom a flaring skirt that is just long enough to cover her butt. As good as she looks, and I hate to admit that she does, it doesn't keep Seth's eyes from wandering. He openly gapes at a girl in a red dress as she walks by. This doesn't go unnoticed by Kya, she has everyone arranged where she wants them and she snaps at the girl.

"Cassie-"

"It's Callie," the girl mumbles.

"Right," Kya smirks, "take a picture of us." She thrusts her phone into the girl's hand and wraps herself around Seth. Callie taps on the screen of Kya's phone until she's told she can stop and even though Kya thanks her, she gives the poor girl a withering look.

After pictures we finally start to make our way into the dance. It's definitely not dress weather and I'm eager to get inside and warm up but Caleb slows before we reach the door. Here it comes... I cringe.

"I'm sorry," he says and it is not what I was expecting. The shock and confusion on my face make him laugh. "For ignoring you..."

"Oh... yeah, that sucked," I concede, "but I'm pretty sure that I'm the one who should be apologizing."

"I think you already did, like at least 100 times," he teases, glancing at his phone that is filled with the not quite 100 apology texts. I blush. "But seriously, I shouldn't have ignored you. I just..." he trails off, running a hand through his hair, mussing it but this only makes him look even better.

"You do not have to apologize for that. You had a lot going on and I was being selfish and messy and dramatic and an awful girlfriend and self centered and... feel free to stop me anytime now!"

Caleb quirks an eyebrow and chuckles, "you're not an awful girlfriend."

"Oh but the rest of it?" I swat at him playfully and he just shrugs. "I'm sorry," I say again and try not to shiver. My arms are covered in goose bumps and Caleb finally realizes that I'm freezing. He runs his hands up and down my bare arms and pulls me inside, but I know the conversation isn't over. Almost everyone is already inside and we find a quiet corner where some people have hung their coats. Smart people that actually brought coats.

"Remember that talk I said we need to have at some point...?" Caleb asks, looking down at our hands that are clasped together. I knew I couldn't avoid this forever but I really didn't want to do it before the homecoming dance. I've never been so thankful for waterproof mascara. I take a deep breath, ready to finally face the music, and nod. Tears are already welling up in my eyes and when I raise my hand to press it against the corner of my eye my bracelet jingles.

"Caleb why didn't you ever tell me...?" I hold my wrist up between us. A blush creeps up his neck, tinging his cheeks pink. "I didn't know it was from you."

"I know, I just..." his hand travels through his hair again, further mussing it. "That night," he slides his thumb across my scar, not able to say the thing that continues to hang between us.

"The night I tried to kill myself," I whisper because somebody has to say it out loud or we will never get past it. He swallows hard and nods.

"Your life changed that night but I need you to know that night changed my life too," he tells me. Shame blooms in my chest and the tears that have been threatening are in danger of spilling down my cheeks. I blink furiously, trying to stop them. "I don't think you know this but I got arrested the week before that." This is the absolute last thing I expected Caleb to say.

"You what?!" My tears have been shocked into retreat. Caleb always seemed to have it so together. Of course I was so wrapped up in my own world, I didn't really know what was going on in his.

He chuckles sheepishly, "yeah, I was hanging out with some kids I shouldn't have been, doing some things I really shouldn't have been. I was pretty pissed off at my mom and for some reason handled it by doing some of the things I hated her for." He looks embarrassed and I have at least a million questions but I file them away for later. "That night we couldn't find you anywhere and then Abuela and I got back to your house. Hiccup was freaking out outside your door and you weren't responding, I knew something was really wrong. Did you know that I broke down your door?"

Nobody had ever talked to me about when they found me and I had avoided imaging it. That's not really something a person thinks about when they are feeling as desperate as I felt that night. I vaguely remember hearing Caleb yelling my name. "Seeing you like that... there was so much blood, Blakely." He looks over my shoulder, his eyes are glassy and I have no doubt that is something that will be forever stuck in his head. I would do anything to erase that image. "It was a wake up call. And then I couldn't even talk to you. I saw the bracelet at this little shop when I was out with Abuela and I just had to get it for you," his eyes lock intently on mine. "I needed you to remember that it wasn't all bad here."

"Thank you," I squeak out and one renegade tear escapes and runs down my cheek. "I love it." I wrap my arms around his neck and his arms come slowly around me. After what feels like forever we untangle and I wipe the tear away with the back of my hand.

"Ready?" He asks, gesturing toward the loud music and even louder voices spilling out of the dance. I nod and I am pretty sure that I really am ready.