That Was Then

Now- 72

We make our way through the throngs of our classmates to find our friends. They are in the middle of the dance floor jumping around to a fast paced song, something unfamiliar to me but Allie and Tatum are singing along theatrically. Kya looks over, making eye contact with me and my chest feels a little tight.

"I'm going to the rest room, I'll be right back," I tell Caleb, unthreading my fingers from his. I need a minute. He quirks an eyebrow, I can almost hear him asking if I'm okay even though he hasn't said a word, so I nod.

I squeeze through groups of gyrating teens across the dance floor, the large room is decorated floor to ceiling in black and orange. Elaborate balloon garlands boarder a darkened skylight and spill in every direction down the walls, fairy lights and woven streamers fill the spaces in between. All I can think of is how long it will take to clean it up.

There is a bathroom right off the dance floor but there is a line of girls out the door. "There's another one down that hall!" A pretty girl in a slinky white dress and darkly lined eyes tells me as I join the line.

I thank her and wander down the hallway. The bathroom is blissfully quiet save for the faint thumping of music from the dance floor and even fainter sound of voices. The stalls are empty, grey metal doors hanging open to reveal a row of pristine white toilets. I look in the mirror and sigh. I resist the urge to splash cool water on my face, my makeup might be waterproof but I don't want to risk it. A group of girls come in giggling and fill the stalls, slamming and locking the doors, squealing over some guy. They don't even seem to notice me. I smooth lip gloss across my lips even though they're still quite glossy and wash my hands even though I didn't use the bathroom before pushing the door open.

I leave the bathroom feeling ten pounds lighter. Things with Caleb and my friends are fine and things with Kya just don't feel like they matter anymore. Part of me still longs for some kind of closure but I've decided that it's easier to just not expect it. I am so consumed by my own thoughts that I hardly even notice the couple sneaking out of the boy's bathroom across the hall. Marley is fixing her panties under her pink skirt and Seth is wiping pink lipstick off of his mouth. They both stop dead in their tracks when they see me.

"Are you following us?!" Marley asks as though I'm the one who has anything to explain.

"What? No, of course not," I laugh and start backing down the hall when Seth grabs my arm. "Let me go," I try to yank my arm from his grasp but he holds tight.

"Shhh," he pulls me toward him and Marley, "we just want to talk to you." Right then the gaggle of girls spill from the bathroom behind us and Seth releases my arm, I allow myself to get caught up in their wave and down the hallway with them.

"Blakely!" Marley cries, panic rising in her voice, but I don't turn around.

"You better keep your mouth shut!" Seth yells, a vague threat. My brief feeling of relief has evaporated. Should I tell Kya? Will she even believe me if I do? It's no secret that Seth cheats, but with her best friend? That's a whole new low. I almost feel bad for her. Almost.

When I finally find my group among all of the sweating bodies Aiden is in the middle, standing nearly a head above everyone, jumping up and down pumping his fist to the beat while everyone jumps around him. Kya is sandwiched between Allie and Tatum with a giant grin plastered on her face. For once she's not hovering over Seth or looking for him, worried more about what- or who- he's doing instead of enjoying the moment. I can't really see the point in telling her, in ruining this moment and I remind myself that I don't owe her a thing anyway.

As I join them Marley and Seth slip in seamlessly as well. Marley keeps her distance, both from me and from Kya while Seth slides in behind Kya, wrapping his arms around her and glaring at me. I glare back.

Eden yells something in my ear that I can't hear and I am drawn into a conversation that consists mostly of laughing and yelling "what?" over and over again. Seth and Marley and Kya are momentarily forgotten. Another fast song plays with Aiden dancing wildly, making us all laugh.

My smile fades quickly when a slow song comes on. The last time I slow danced with a guy I had ketchup smeared across my ass and the entire eighth grade threw sanitary products at me. My pulse quickens and I smooth down the back of my dress, no ketchup.

Caleb grips my hand. He knows where my head is. I glance over at Kya, her arms slide up around Seth's neck and I'm willing to bet she hasn't given what she did all those years ago a second thought and I hate her all over again. Caleb's hand moves up my arm and he pulls me to him, "do you want to go sit? Get a drink?" His gaze is steady, reassuring. I remind myself where hating Kya got me before and let my arms slide up his chest and grasp around his neck. No better time to get this over with and surely no better person. My person.

"You don't want to dance with me?" I tease, he gives me a look before slipping his hands around my waist. My body is pressed flush against him and my pulse begins to slow, amazing the affect this guy has on my heart rate. Sometimes he makes it race and other times he calms it. We sway to the music and it occurs to me the song that is playing. 'Perfect' by Ed Sheeran. Isn't that perfect? I think sardonically. We really have come full circle.