That Was Then

44-Then

Our sixth grade year was cut short by the pandemic. I was acutely aware that I was likely one of the only people in the world grateful for being stuck at home. Home was my sanctuary. I thrived in online schooling. Caleb, while very bright, struggled a little with digital schooling and while I was a grade younger than him, I helped him with his work.

I begged my parents to allow me to continue homeschooling when, late the next school year, our schools reopened. They shut me down quickly. The pandemic had rescued me from the bullying and I wasn't sure what the next year would bring. Maybe they'd forgotten me. 

In seventh grade I had  one class with Kya, Selena and Paige; choir. It was a large class and I avoided them as much as I could. They did not forget me and alternated between ignoring me and tormenting me. The teacher was useless as a defender.

"If I interfere they will just pick on you more, you need to stand up for yourself," he said, not even looking up from his desk, the one time I went to him for help. I was standing in front of his desk with blood seeping through the left knee of my jeans from Paige shoving me as I walked past her up the riser. It wasn't the first thing they had done to me in that class, just the event that pushed me to tell the teacher. I wasn't tattling, I knew the difference between reporting and telling on someone. I had already asked them to stop, told her to leave me alone, hoped the teacher would notice Paige pushing me. She hadn't even disguised what she was doing, didn't even pretend to accidentally bump into me, forcing me off the side of the second to top level. She had thrust her arms forward as I walked by her, smiling as I landed hard on my knee. She had added an "oops" as I was mid-fall. Mr. Goff was not going to help me, so I had to find a way to protect myself. From that day on I made sure I was the first person to get to choir class. Being one of the tallest kids in the class I stood in the back row on the risers so if I got to class first and took my spot I did not have to deal with Kya, Paige or Selena.

Later that year, at our Christmas concert, Tia put on a bigger show than we did. In between songs Mitch's phone erupted loudly. Only apparently it was not his personal phone or his work phone. It was a secret phone that Tia had not previously known about and every person close enough to hear Tia's hysteria knew exactly why a person would have a secret cell phone that they hid from their wife. From my place on the stage I did not know what it was that Tia was freaking out about until I heard my parents talking about it later. But the entire class could see the drama unfolding in the audience. Finally, Mama, who was seated a few rows in front of Kya's parents, took Tia by the arm and lead her from the theater.