That Was Then

64- Now

Two down, two to go. I wait impatiently for Allie and Tatum to come to photography class. My confidence has been boosted by Vivi and Eden even though Vivi made it clear that I am in friend probation. I check my phone and watch the door like a hawk but when they still have not appeared after the bell rings my confidence plummets. Obviously they're skipping class to avoid me. They must hate me, and if they hate me it wont be long before Eden realizes that she can't be friends with me either. For half of the class my eyes just dart back and forth between the door and the clock before I finally accept that they aren't coming.

My stomach fills with dread and I'm starting to think there is no coming back from this when they don't show up at lunch either. I pick at my salad, moving pieces of lettuce around on the plate without actually eating any. Meanwhile Caleb inhales two gigantic slices of pizza like he hasn't eaten in weeks.

"I'm sure it doesn't mean anything," Caleb tries to reassure me. I'm wishing I would have let Mara talk us into going out for lunch. She is currently sitting on the other side of Vivi dragging her fries through a mixture of ketchup, mustard and ranch and complaining that McDonalds fries are better.

"I saw them this morning," Eden offers, "maybe they're doing something for cheerleading?" Because of course Kya and Marley are nowhere to be seen either. They're probably off together somewhere all hating me, I think. I spot Seth across the cafeteria flirting with a sophomore so I know that Kya isn't with him, so she must be with Allie and Tatum.

Walking through the hall after lunch I am so all consumed by thinking that they're avoiding me that when Caleb says "see babe, they've been busy," I do not, at first, see what he's talking about. He grabs me by the shoulders when I give him a clueless look and stops me in front of his locker. It is wrapped in glittery orange paper with black ruffles bordering it and a giant number four on the top. There are Speedy Gonzales stickers all over, his nickname from the team, and then his last name is spelled vertically with bold black bubble letters. "It's homecoming week, the cheerleaders decorate the football player's lockers," he tells me gently but I can tell that I'm starting to annoy him. Not that I can blame him, I'm annoying myself a little too.

I'm really hoping that Kya will be skipping all of her classes today so that I won't have to see her in French. Funny how making her have to see me was the entire reason I took the class in the first place. I am one of the first to arrive and take a seat near the back and when Kya and Marley make their way in they choose the seats right next to me. Check. Clearly it's my move but I've got nothing. Middle school Blakely wants to fix her eyes on the front of the room and not break eye contact with white board for fear of drawing anymore attention to myself. I shake that thought and force myself to not only look at her, but smile.

She leans in like she's going to say something but stops when somebody walks between us up the aisle. Not just somebody. Paige. She doesn't sit in her usual seat where she tries to blend in with the wall, she sits directly in front of me and even smiles at us before turning to face the front. Ballsy. Kya's eyes blaze with indignance. It threw her off and she swallows whatever it was that she was going to say. None of us say a word for the duration of class save for when Madame Dishier calls on me to answer a question, and Kya is out the door before the bell even finishes ringing. Marley is hot on her heels but not before shooting me a withering look over her shoulder.

I'm still not sure what to think or feel about Paige given our past. I don't know why she did what she did today, her tiny act of defiance, maybe it didn't even have anything to do with me. I certainly don't owe her anything but I offer her an appreciative smile before leaving the room anyway.

I have other things to worry about now. It's time to get ready for my night with Caleb. I've brought a lot of drama to Caleb's life this past month and tonight I'm going to see what I can do to make up for it.

When I pull up at home Abuela's car is still there which I'm usually happy to see, it's nice to be reminded that I'm not too old for someone to make me an after school snack. But I'm not disappointed when she opens the front door to leave just as I'm reaching for the bronze handle.

"Mija!" I sink into her when she wraps her doughy arms around me, I didn't realize just how badly I needed a hug and I think that I could stay there forever. But I have stuff to do so I only linger for an extra minute before squeezing her and stepping back.

"Off to bunco?"

"You know it, got my lucky pants on!" Abuela shimmies in her red linen pants. "I left you a little snack on the counter," she tells me before making her way to the car and I can't help but grin. 'A little something' from Abuela is usually more like a full meal. She waves before sliding behind the wheel of her Volvo "adios, mija! Behave," she tells me as per usual and don't I always? Well, maybe not tonight...