I do.

Breaking point

Natasha sat there stunned for a moment
"...What?"
"He...he killed it.." Yael spoke softly, trying not to cry more. Natasha felt a burning rage build within her. That man was going to pay. For now she just focused on Yael.
"Did you tell them what happened?"
"No...I said I fell down the stairs.." Yael admitted shyly.
"Yael you can't cover for him like that. He can't hurt you if he gets put away, I can make sure of it. Please tell them the truth or I will." Yael nodded and Natasha called the nurse in. She held Yael's hand tight as she told the nurse what really happened. She said she would get the doctor on the phone with the police immediately and with that she left. Yael cried on Natasha's shoulder quietly, poor thing. She stroked her friends hair gently, telling her she was right there and she wasn't going anywhere. "Yael I...I'm so sorry I left. Nothing can excuse what I did. I left you and now your baby is gone." Natasha choked as a tear fell down her cheek.
"Don't you dare blame yourself for this. I should've went to your house, I don't know what I was thinking.."
"You wouldn't have had to go anywhere if I wasn't such a dumbass!" Natasha stood up and turned away, her face in her hands.
"Stop...please, I need you right now." Yael started to cry again and Natasha immediately turned around and held her hand again.
"I'm sorry, I just feel like it's all my fault.."
"It's not. I'm just as much at fault as you are. Ultimately, it's him who took the baby from me..I know it had only been a few weeks, but I was excited to be a mother.." She looked down at their hands.
"I know you were, and you will be. One day, I just know it. You'll be a great one too, I promise." Yael nodded but didn't look up. The drive home was very quiet, neither of them saying a word. Not until Yael spoke up.
"Who was she?" Natasha caught by surprise slammed on the breaks a little.
"Jesus Stone don't do that to me when I'm driving." She laughed nervously.
"I want to know."
"Why do you care? It's not like we're together or something."
"Even if you're not, I'm curious." Natasha paused awkwardly for a moment.
"I..don't know. I don't know her name, or anything at all."
"Tash, you promised us you were done with that." Yael spoke a bit more firmly. This caused Natasha to get a bit angry and snap back.
"What am I supposed to do? Spend my whole life hooked on someone who will never love me back, or sleep with random people to numb my pain for awhile?! You don't fucking know what it's like!" Yael's mouth opened to say something but she quickly shut it. "Yael..I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
"Just drive." Yael said coldly, she clearly didn't want to talk anymore so Natasha just focused on the road. When they got back, Yael went straight to one of the guest bedrooms, not saying anything. Natasha followed after her wanting to properly apologize. "Yael please just let me apologize and I'll leave you alone."
"You think saying sorry will change the fact that you fucked some random girl like you swore you wouldn't do anymore? You know that's bad for you and the other girls, you can't do that to yourself."
"Why does it matter to you so much? We aren't dating, I'm not your girlfriend, I can fuck whoever I want to."
"It matters to me because I give a damn about you, ever thought of that?" There was a long silence following, and all Natasha could do was stare. "Just, get out, okay? Both of us are mad and arguing won't get us anywhere. Goodnight, Natasha." That stung a little for her because she never called her that. It was always Tash, Tasho, love, anything but her actual name.
"Can you at least stay in my room with me?"
"No. Goodnight." Yael got into the bed and faced away from her, so she just sighed and left the room.
"What the fuck's wrong with you Lyonne? Why would you do that? If you hadn't been such a dumb idiot her baby would still be alive and she wouldn't be angry at you. God you're such a dipshit." Natasha argued with herself as she stared at her bedroom ceiling, she couldn't stop thinking. She wished she could just go back in time and stop herself from being so fucking stupid. She was already beyond suprised that Yael wasn't angry with her for leaving, she might've been but sometimes Yael just doesn't want to hurt people. Maybe it was just the shock of losing the baby and she'd be angry later. Regardless, this fuck up was going to take a lot of healing, and she was ready for that because she couldn't lose Yael. Then it hit her, what she said about loving someone who will never love her back. What if she asked about it? What would she even tell her? She bit her nails as she tossed and turned, tonight wasn't going to be filled with much sleep.