Instagram × Felix | Stray Kids

10 - THEM

10 - THEM

[Again, this is a double update, so don't be surprised about the length of this. Because their identity is still a secret there isn't much information I can give... yet... ;)]

As soon as he added her on snapchat he blocked her from watching his story and seeing his location. 

He still wanted to post things on his story but he didn't want her to know who he was. 

Actually, he wanted to facepalm himself. Sometimes, when chatting with her, he got so overly exited, he felt so close to her, he forgot that he had to keep this certain wall up. 

But then, sometimes, he imagined how it would feel meeting her. Was she really that pretty in real life? How would her voice sound like? Would she smell good? Was her hair as soft as the pictures she uploaded seemed to show? 

Again, he wanted to facepalm himself. How could he swoon over someone he didn't even really know like that. The fact alone that he did what he did, was proof enough that it all, all of her, could be fake. 

It would be very easy to just take the pictures she posted and pretend to be her. Catfishing was a real thing and a serious issue and his behavior online was proof of that. But he didn't do it to get laid. He didn't do it to meet some pretty girls. Because he certainly wasn't the type of person to do that.

He had his reasons. Good reasons. Catfishing people, especially catfishing her was really useful. 

But at the same time he felt like such a bad person because he liked her very much but at the same time only used her for his own benefit. He felt disgusting, manipulative and selfish. 

He just used her, even though he had saved all of her selfies on his phone and his heart would beat faster every time she texted him. So he liked her, right? But how can you use someone if you like them? He couldn't really like her if he just used her. He couldn't really just use her if he liked her.

Actually, meeting her, chatting with her, made him understand people better.
Before he had never really understood how you can swoon over a person, or even be obsessed with someone you don't even know in real life. 

Maybe it was just the fact that she was such a nice, caring, attentive person and maybe it was the fact that she literally threw love at him, that made him attached in a way. Even after just a month. Considering how much he chatted with her, which was daily, it may not even be that short period of time.

To get rid of his frustration he called his dog and went outside on a walk with him. The small little ball of fluffiness jumped out of happiness. They really loved each other.

In the park, he played with his puppy and when it got tired he decided to sit down with it for a bit. He looked around himself. There was a couple.

They were holding hands and smiling at each other.

That could be us... he thought, getting sad. 

Why had he been so stupid?

Why couldn't he have met her earlier?

Why was he even liking her so much, from a logical point of view it made no sense?

And why was it deep down hurting him, when she went on dates with that jerk of a guy, who seemed so much better than him?

He never expected being sad about something like that. He never wanted things to turn out this way. Over time he had learned that the more selfish you are, the more success you get. Him catfishing her was an act of selfishness. So why was he the one suffering because of it?

Back at his apartment he made himself dinner and texted her, pretending like he wasn't sad, wasn't lonely and most importantly, pretending to be okay with her going on dates with that other guy.

Maybe he even tried to hide the fact, that he started liking her a little to much, from himself. But he needed to do that. 

He had no choice at the end of the day about keeping his mask on.

So he had to detach himself from her before he couldn't do that anymore.

But maybe it was already too late for that. 

--

Actually I think it's possible to get way too attached to a person you've never met. Internet friendships are as legit as "normal" ones <3

But you should always be careful with whom you trust. Just wanted to say that because most of you assume that king-of-dabbing is Felix which would mean that this is going to have a happy ending.

This doesn't mean that this won't have a happy ending. I just want you all to be careful. Catfishing is a serious issue and I don't need to start counting how many times I've found out that people just took pictures from pinterest and said it was them... it's too easy. 

So yeah please just watch out for yourselves and do not give personal information away. I think it's important to say this as this book is mostly positive about internet friendships <3