Instagram × Felix | Stray Kids

13 - THEM

13 - THEM

[yes this is a double update but don't skip it as you won't understand what happens in the other part of 13 <3]

felixsqueen: I'm so exited for the fanmeeting

king-of-dabbing: didn't you already say that yesterday? xD

felixsqueen: YES BUT I REALLY AM

king-of-dabbing: oh my god xD

felixsqueen: I'm looking for an outfit to wear

felixsqueen: but I don't have anything that looks good enough

king-of-dabbing: I think you'd look amazing in everything

king-of-dabbing: and felix will think you're stunning regardless of the clothes you're wearing hahaa xD

He bit his lip. The thing was that he liked her reaction to comments like that because she would probably blush a lot. But at the same time he was afraid of making her uncomfortable.

felixsqueen: naw thanks

felixsqueen: BUT

felixsqueen: I gotta look perfect 

felixsqueen: so I need to go shopping (cat emoji)

Grinning, he shook his head. As if she would need to buy clothes only for the fanmeeting. Judging from the pictures he had seen (and saved) she was beautiful and the clothes she would wear wouldn't change that in his opinion.

But it was so cute how exited she was, how she couldn't stop thinking about it.

king-of-dabbing: when will you go shopping? :D

felixsqueen: idkkkk

felixsqueen: probably friday evening

felixsqueen: I still need presents for felix tho

felixsqueen: I'LL BE BROKE

king-of-dabbing: hahahaha

king-of-dabbing: but why do you want to buy him something

king-of-dabbing: the best presents are self-made

felixsqueen: but I want to get him a plushie (sad emoji)

king-of-dabbing: I bet he would like that

king-of-dabbing: but I think he'd also enjoy something like a drawing or a letter

felixsqueen: but I can't draw omg haha

felixsqueen: and a letter would be cringy.... I bet he'd cringe

king-of-dabbing: well I wouldn't cringe at a fanletter

king-of-dabbing: after all it's cute

king-of-dabbing: and more personal

felixsqueen: true but you're not him

felixsqueen: I mean yeah I agree but I'm afraid of coming off as weird idk

He frowned. Why was she so sure of that?

king-of-dabbing: well if he thinks it's cringy he's not worth any of your attention

king-of-dabbing: and I think every sane guy will love a handwritten letter

king-of-dabbing: especially from a girl as beautiful as you

felixsqueen: CAN YOU STOP WITH THAT I'M BLUSHING

Now he laughed out loud. The thought of that got him flustered, what was this girl doing with him? He wasn't even physically near her.

king-of-dabbing: make me ;)

That feeling when you send a risky text... It was the worst. Especially because he was so attached and afraid of losing her. But he just couldn't help it. He had feelings for her, even if he couldn't understand how that was possible as she could be a catfish. And when you have feelings for someone, you just have to take the risk. 

Well no. You take the risk without thinking because when you have feelings for someone you can't think straight. Which was the case with him. Which was why he hadn't been careful enough sometimes.

Part of him didn't want to be careful though. She wouldn't hate him if she found out, right? Or would she? 

Those were the thoughts that were always in his mind the last few days, whatever he did. 

He felt so good when talking to her, all his sadness and loneliness seemed to be gone, but at the same time he felt like an asshole for catfishing her. She deserved better than that.

As much as he had been jealous of that Channie guy, she would have better off with him probably. He didn't lie to her after all. 

Frustrated, he run his hands through his hair and thought that he would have to dye it again sometime. Then he went to make himself pizza for dinner, forgetting to check Instagram, or better: her reaction to what he said.

He was afraid because he knew himself. He knew he was a passionate person. Whenever he wanted something, he would work until he got it. And he wanted her, he wanted her so bad. 

He already had her. Her heart and her mind, he knew he had it all. 

The only thing he didn't have was confidence. 

The lack of confidence was why he couldn't reveal himself. Why he couldn't drive to her house and eat dinner with her right now. Or take her shopping on friday evening.

The reason why he wasn't able to hold her, to see her, to call her his girlfriend.

Even though many people thought he was perfect, he wasn't. He had his fears. Especially of losing people he loved.