Love Song From The Devil (BoyXboy )

Chapter 5: Love never dies in Drama

When I was young, I used to dream about my mother constantly. She was not dead but she was suffering from cancer, she was in pain a lot. She was everything that my dad, my sister and I wanted. When she reached the stage where she was ready to die, I started to avoid her. My sister was just 6 months old and had not carried any of my mother’s trait. She was just like me. And I looked like my dad. I looked after her when my dad went to take care of mom. I stayed home and looked after her every needs. She cried everyday for her mother. For milk. For nurturing, For love. I would cry for long hours and smash windows of the nearby church. Angry at God. Angry at her. Angry at my sister. Angry at myself. At my pathetic little family. I had no friend on whose shoulder I could weep on. No aunt or uncle with whom I could go and tell them about my worries and problems. I would sit inside the house holding my little sister. Waiting for dad. Waiting for my mom’s death news. and we could end this misery instantly. I hated her for making us suffer. Making us feel sorry for her. Making Dad half dead in his thirties. Making Cecily cry all day and night.

I never had found my own euphoria. I would get into a fight and that was it. Dad would scold me and ground me. And the next day, the history would repeats itself again. I did not learn from my mistakes ever. I found out that tears were gone from my eyes forever. I cried no more. I just screamed and shouted. If I had to.

And there it was. During my freshman year in high school. I heard a tune. Very soft and melodious. I was never a music lover but this tune made my heart do flips and jumps. And it was from a church. A congregation. Singing the praises of lord in the skies. I did not know what happened I walked inside the church and saw whole lot of older people specially the elder people singing with their heads held high as the choir kept up with the people singing. I sat at the back of the church. Near the door and listened to the tune  attentively.

“ There shall be showers of blessing.....” the tune went on.....

“ This is the promise of love.”

The melodious tune made me somewhat calm and peaceful inside. It was a wonderful feeling I was having after a year. The tune went on like forever and I loved every tune of it. I looked up at the front and saw carvings of angels on the walls. Looking down at us guarding us, protecting us.

A guardian Angel. I heard myself gasp and gulp down the bile that rose in my mouth. I looked at the people around the church and saw one particular family. Two men holding one child each in their arm. The children were asleep but both men were singing the praise of the lord. Holding hands tightly. Giving each other a loving glance once or twice. I stared at them for a while. I wanted to feel weird by looking at them, curse them, give them glare. But I couldn’t. I didn’t want to.

Seeing them felt right. Like they were made for each other. Then again, I asked a question to myself. ‘Does soul mate exist?’ do they? I

It was really an interesting thing. To have a soul mate how would it be. Maybe wonderful. Like mom and dad.

Then I suddenly realized how selfish I was being to my mom. And everybody around me. I was so selfish.

And I broke. I bawled my eyes out and snot flowing down like river from my nose like a kid. Everybody stared at me and murmured in confusion. I cried caring about no body else and sat back to cry more. The guys whom I has been watching had offered me a handkerchief which was a one when I wiped my nose. They smiled and went back to their seat. The preaching had ended and everybody went home. I sat there still crying no one to bother me.

I will miss you, mom. I really will.

I seemed to cry out with tears. It was dark when I left for home. I nearly had forgotten about the milk for Cecily.