Make You Smile

You Jump I Jump

May 26th

Mark's P.O.V

I was back in the studio with Tom and Travis now. I'd spent 4 days back home and every single night Taylor had crawled through my window like she used to do back in high school.  I had no fucking idea what we were doing.  We didn't talk about it.  We didn't label it. And that was definitely intentional. Neither of us wanted to get fucked up again.

But would it really make a difference? Keeping things casual?  It was still going to break my heart when she left again. I knew that. It'd be just like last time...maybe even a little worse. So what the fuck was I doing?

She'd invited us all to her beach house this week. I'd asked the guys and Jen who'd all gladly accepted. It'd be just like old times. Except that it wasn't. 

"You fucked her didn't you?" Asked Tom as he turned to me suddenly after he'd finished recording a vocal part. 

My eyes widened at his sudden question. My heart was racing. Fuck. And I thought I'd hidden it pretty well. I had just told him Taylor and I had been hanging out and talking. That was all.

The producer and sound guy stared at me through the glass giving me an awkward glance before discreetly returning back to work as if they hadn't heard anything.

"Uh...well-" I mumbled.

Tom sighed.

"You're a fucking idiot." 

I frowned.

"Why is everyone saying that?! Me and Taylor...know what we're doing ok so just don't alright."  I said wearily as I rubbed my eyes with my hand.

I was really tired of people giving me their 2 cents. It wasn't their business and I wished they'd all just butt out even although I knew they were only trying to protect me. 

"Do you? Things got really fucked up. You're just going to do it all over again.  I picked up the pieces last time and I'm totally not doing it again.  You were a mess for a really long time. And so was Taylor. It's going to happen again." 

I was mad.  Really mad. And mostly because I knew Tom was fucking right.

"Tom. Just butt the fuck out of this alright? I know you're trying to do what's best but just don't. It isn't like last time. We aren't dating. She's not my girlfriend.  We just had sex...a few times. That's all it is.  We're totally in control." 

Tom shook his head and laughed bitterly. 

"That's where you're wrong buddy.  Trust me I did the 'just sex' thing.  A lot. This isn't going to work for you it's not your style or Taylor's. And even if it were you can never just 'have sex' with Taylor. You aren't just thinking with your dick with her.  There's no way you can keep your feelings separate.  You love her. You're still in fucking love with her. That's why this needs to stop. This week at the beach house I think you should just try and stay in your own bed. Got It?"

I pushed my chair back and stood up.  The anger and embarassment was flowing through my veins.  Tom was right. I didn't want him to be but he was.  Tom wasn't raising his voice.  He was breaking this to me gently but that just made it a million times worse.

I knew he didn't mean it that way but it felt like he was treating me like a little stupid,  innocent kid which annoyed me even more because Tom was still 18 and technically I was older. 

"Mark -"

I shook my head cutting him off.

"It's cool. I got it.  I recorded my part already you can just do whatever the fuck you want over it.  If you want to change it just do that.  You seem to know what you're doing more than I do so it's all yours."  I said sweeping out of the room before Tom could interject.