Make You Smile

Do you still feel the same way?

Mark's P.O.V

"It's so cool. I felt her kick against my hand today. It was so strong. She's like going to be a drummer. Or a soccer star or something I swear."

I smiled as I watched Tom talk about all the little things he hadn't been able to tell me in the past 6 months. I'd missed him. I'd missed this even more than I'd realised.

"You're such a sap DeLonge. But it's cute. I think...I think you're going to be a really great dad." I said honestly as I poured hot sauce over my burrito.

He smiled at me.

"Thanks dude."

We sat in silence for a little while as we ate. But it was a comfortable one. I hadn't been back here in a while. This place held so much nostalgia for the both of us. Tom and I came here a lot through middle school and high school. These walls had been witness to all of our most embarrassing pubescent stories. And our heartaches too. And the first day I met Taylor we'd come here for dinner.

She'd been sitting next to me in this very booth almost 8 years ago when I'd first started to fall madly in love with her. Had it really been that long? Fuck...time just kept moving on.

"You're thinking about Taylor aren't you? You still blush you know. Like a little 16 year old with their first real crush when you think about her. Pretty cute." He teased.

I felt my face heat as my eyes flicked to Tom's and he laughed. 

"I was just thinking about that first night we came here with her."

Tom smiled and looked around. The place was empty besides us. I knew he was thinking back.

"I was blonde. Your hair was purple. Trav had dreads. And she was... amazing. Some things change. Some things don't."

I nodded. He was right.

"Mark... look about what happened between me and Taylor-"

"Tom you really don't have to explain.  I was being a dick before-"

"You weren't. And I want to because I want to be best friends again. I want to be totally honest with you."

I sighed and nodded slowly. It meant a lot that he wanted to be my best friend again. Tom was rarely so open and vulnerable like this so I was prepared to listen to what he had to say. But could I accept it? Could I really truly completely forgive him? They'd been together in the most intimate way two people can be and it hadn't been meaningless. And that had hurt. A lot.

"We slept together a few times and it wasn't meaningless. It couldn't ever be that because well...we love each other. But not in the way you think alright. She's my best friend. We were both so fucked up and sad and we were there for each other."

"Tom I know that. It's ok. I understand."

Tom sighed exasperatedly and looked at me evenly across the table.

"No dude that's the thing. I don't think you do.  You want to know the truth? The real honest truth? She only slept with me because she was sad and missed you. She never would have even considered me otherwise. You're her everything man don't you see that? It's always been you. She told me once that the love you read about in books, or write about in songs it's real and that for her well...it's you."

I felt my face heat shamefully. I'd been a total asshole. Tom was leaving his ego and his pride out of this. He was being completely honest. Taylor had really told him all that? About me. I felt my heart beat faster in my chest.

I smiled and Tom relaxed slightly. I saw his shoulders come down.

"Thanks man. For being honest. And for telling me that. I forgive you ok? I'm not mad anymore and I want to be best friends again too. This whole thing was my fault. My whole life I've just felt so insecure. And that made me be jealous towards you. And that's all on me. Not you."