Make You Smile

When Mark got his groove back

AN: Warning cereal eating after activities 😉 oh Mark.

October 20th

Everything was going really great. I'd been living with Taylor for a month. I was really happy. She made me happy.   Writing and recording was going really well. Things with Tom and with my family were great. There was just still one tiny little problem.  One tiny little vertically challenging problem.  No boners. None that stuck around anyways. No sex drive. And I was keeping this shameful little secret all to myself.

Taylor and I slept together every night. We lived together. We cuddled. We ate dinner together. We held hands. We went to the movies together. We were dating I guessed.  But we didn't kiss. We didn't have sex. Because of my...problem.

Taylor didn't question me about it either. Deep down I thought maybe she knew how much of a fucking loser I was. She made it seem like it wasn't a big deal. She seemed happy but I felt like such an asshole. I didn't know how to let her know what was going on without totally embarrassing myself. I had to tell her in case she thought it was something she was doing wrong. It was all me. Like always.

I was with Tom in the studio and we were packing up for the day.

"So how's domestic life with Jenning's? I haven't really had the chance to grill her yet about it since you keep hogging her." He said with a wink.

I blushed. Oh God. Be cool. Be cool. Don't let him find out.

"Great. Really great.  Dude just come over and visit whenever you want." I said with a shrug.

He smiled.

"Good. Uh no I'm not into three ways."

I forced out a laugh and rolled my eyes. Oh Tom if only you knew that there isn't so much as a one way going on down there.

"You asked her out though right?" He asked.

"Uhhhh well-"

Tom glared at me.

"Mark. Seriously-"

"Look things are really fucked up in my head and...stuff right now ok? I want to do this right."

Tom nodded slowly.

"I get that. But you're ok now. It's been a few months. You said you felt better."

I nodded. Oh God. Tom was being so sincere right now. He was going to find out. I was so fucking embarrassed.

"I do feel better. Way better. But you know that it takes a long time to heal after being fucked over."

Tom frowned. 

"Yeah but it's not like you're alone. I mean you're in love with Jenning's. You're happy right?"

I nodded. My heart was racing. My palms were sweating. Oh God. Here goes.

"Yeah of course I do. Yeah...it's just hard to show it sometimes you know? Or not hard I guess...whatever just- forget I said anything." I said quietly.

I knew I was blushing my face felt all hot.

Tom was frowning and looked really fucking lost and confused.

"Dude what the fuck are you talking about?"

I shook my head.

"Nothing. Forget it. I'll see you tomorrow." I said.

Tom was still deep in thought when I walked to the door.

Fuck. Stupid dumb need to tell Tom everything.