Make You Smile

Be Strong When Things Fall Apart

AN: Warning this chapter contains no Mark and it makes me sad. It is also really long. Sorry. 💔

Taylor's P.O.V

December 18

"Are you sure you'll be alright going back there? Won't everything just remind you of Ma-him?" Said Lizzie as she hugged me in the doorway.

She was going to her parents for the holidays and so was I.

I smiled and nodded weakly. I was raw and broken but I'd stopped crying at least.

"I'll be fine. Well yeah but maybe that's ok. Mark...is still my friend and I'm going to have to get used to having him in my life as just that. Because I would rather have him as a friend than nothing...I'm working on it." 

Lizzie pulled back and shook her head dissapprovingly. 

"I cant believe he did that to you. I mean he seemed like such a lovely guy."

My smile tightened.

"He is a lovely guy. Thats the problem. It's impossible to be mad at him. He didn't do anything wrong. We weren't together. He's a free agent."

Lizzie nodded.

"And so are you. Why don't you have a little Christmas holiday romance under the mistletoe? Don't think about Mark. I know a lot of people say rebound romances are a bad idea but they help sometimes. Come on you haven't had sex in months. Let a boy that knows what he's doing make you feel good. A boy you're comfortable with. A boy who loves you and would take care of you right. You might even like it if you gave someone who isn't Mark a real chance..do you know what I'm saying?"

I frowned and shook my head.

"Not really."

"Well I mean you said Jen and Tom broke up...you could probably both do with a bit of cheering up-friends with benefits?"

My eyes widened and I blushed fiercely.

"You're not serious?! That's THE worst suggestion I've ever heard. Tom...is like my best friend it'd be way too weird and awkward. And it would totally fuck up our friendship. And he's Mark's best friend too doesn't that like totally break guy code and just general rules? Plus it wouldn't be fair on Tom...someone told me he liked me once. It wouldn't be fair if it meant something to him that it didn't to me. I wouldn't do that."

"Alright alright calm down it was just an idea. I just thought it would help."

I nodded. It was sweet of her to think of cheering me up however wrong her ideas were.

"Thanks Lizzie but I'll be ok. I'll just eat chocolate. Get hugs off my mom and brothers. And I'll come back after New Year a completely new woman. Promise."

Lizzie grinned.

"You better. Bye. Love you."

"Love you too." I said giving her a final hug before running down the steps and hauling my bag into the back of a black cab.

I froze "What's my age again?" Was playing.

"Can you change the station please?" I asked.

The cabbie nodded.

"Sure thing love not my cuppa tea either to be honest. What do you want it on?"

"A station that won't play that band."

The cabbie laughed.

"Not a fan eh? I don't get them either. Son loves them though."

I nodded as he switched it to some sort of smooth, jazz station. I wasn't ready to hear his voice yet. It was too soon.