Make You Smile

Pop Disaster

AN: The cutest photo of two boys covered in birthday cake you ever did see to help with this emo chapter. Sorry. 😍😙

March 15 2002

Mark's P.O.V

Nobody likes you when you're 23.  It sort of felt that way too.

Tom was being weird with me. He was being all distant and secretive. Even Travis had been a little off with me lately.  Tom and Taylor hadn't spoken a lot either since their fight that day a few months ago which I thought was really weird. They were close and rarely disagreed on anything and if they did fall out they usually made up quickly. But not this time.

Neither Taylor nor Tom told me what they'd fallen out about. I guess it wasn't any of my business it was between them...but it hurt a little. It was like there was this secret thing going on between them that they were leaving me out of. Left behind. Unwanted. Just like always. Maybe I was over thinking but the anxiety buried deep inside me told me I wasn't.

I was still so happy. Everything was going great at home. Our house was really coming together. Taylor seemed happy living with me. We were really happy together. And band stuff was going great too, musically at least. Maybe I was just looking for things to go wrong like always.  

We were touring with Greenday right now. They were great guys and every night we were playing to sold out crowds and partying afterwards. I didn't think I'd ever stop loving doing this for the rest of my life. I loved hearing shit we'd written being sung back to us by hundreds of people every night. It was one of the best feelings in the world.

I was having so much fun. But it didn't seem like Tom was. Not like he used to anyway. Not like we used to.  And any time I tried to talk to him about it he got all defensive and moody and shut me out. I wish I knew what I did wrong. I'd asked Taylor about him. If she'd noticed him acting differently and she just told me she hadn't and not to worry so much. But what worried me most about this whole thing is that she was lying to me. She was a horrible liar. Her eyes gave her away. She'd never lied to me before. Not like this. And that scared me more than anything.

They both knew something I didn't. And all that jealous paranoia about them that I thought I'd buried after high school came rushing to the surface. What if they were secretly dating? No. They couldn't be. Tom was getting married. Taylor was with me. They wouldn't ever do that, but they were keeping something secret. And that secret was fucking up the close friendship they'd once had.

Maybe I was just thinking weird thoughts because I missed her so much. We'd only been touring 2 weeks but I'd just gotten so used to living and being with her every single day that I wondered how I'd managed all those years and months we were apart when she was living in England.

We still had another 6 weeks of tour left. Another 6 weeks without Taylor. It was killing me. Taylor was way too busy with work to come with us.  She was back home with only our new little beagle puppy for company. I was loving touring again but for the first time in my life I had someone waiting for me at home at the end of tour. I had a home to go back to now. A home that we were still building together. I usually got sad and weird and lonely after touring but not this time. She would be there. Waiting. For me.

We were hanging out after the show. I pulled my sweat soaked shirt over my head and sat on the couch closing my eyes and breathing in deeply. I had to shower and I was so fucking hot but I just wanted to chill for a second.

I could hear all the guys from Green day and the support bands messing around behind me. I smiled. I was lucky to have such a good tour family here with me.