CHAPTER 21: WHO IS THE MASKED SINGER?
Friday, February 14, 2014
As I woke up this morning, I realized what a fool I was. Carter, snap out of this! So what if you don’t have Blane! You need to make some friends. This rut is absurd and depressing.
I dressed in a Katie- approved dress with Tory Burch sandals. I straightened my hair and put on eyeshadow and mascara. I looked like the New York Carter I had become, a girlie hipster.
As I walked down the stairs, a massive bear sat in the doorway.
“Must be from Steven,” I thought.
I approached the bear and looked at the card. It read, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Carter. Meet me at 11:00 AM at the bottom of the staircase. Love, your secret admirer.”
My first thought was Blane. Then, I got to thinking. Would Blane sign it secret admirer or would he put his name down? What if it was Abe? Or what if it was a third party?
Suddenly, I was very excited. If it was Blane, I would stop fighting, I promised myself. I would turn a new leaf and finally be happy. I was finally going to be selfish. If it was Abe, I would help him turn his life around. Whether that included casual sex was only a bonus. If it was a third party, well, let’s hope for the best. Hopefully, it’s not Mr. Smith. That would just be creepy, considering he agreed to move with his naive wife to Wisconsin if I didn’t press charges.
At 11:00 I was in Chemistry. At 10:55, Blane and I both asked to go to the bathroom, and Dr. White both let us go. He knew we were split up and barely speaking. He, also, knew that we had the highest grades in the class, so one little break was deserving.
As I pushed open the door, Blane whispered, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Carter.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Blane,” I whispered back smiling.
I, suddenly, begged for the mystery man to be Blane. It was exactly what I needed. I needed Blane. I wanted him. I needed him to be the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
I walked towards the staircase and there was nobody there. Then, I started to hear singing.
“Whenever I’m alone with you… you make me feel like I am home again…Whenever I’m alone with you… you make me feel like I am whole again…”
I walked towards the singing, which was upstairs.
“Whenever I’m alone with you… you make me feel like I am young again… whenever I’m alone with you… you make me feel like I am fun again…”
The guitar and voice was so beautiful that I was intrigued. I followed the voice past the freshmen lockers.
“However far away…I will always love you. However long I stay… I will always love you.”
I was so engrossed in the song that I didn’t notice Blane to my left. I turned left and Blane followed.
“You make me feel like I am free again… Whenever I’m alone with you… you make me feel like I am clean again.”
The voice kept getting farther away until it was nonexistent.
“Who are you?” I called. “Please, who are you?”
I ran down the halls and Blane followed.
“Who was that?” I asked myself.
“Damn,” was all Blane said.
“Blane?” I asked suddenly aware of his presence.
“Oh um hey, Carter,” Blane said. “So hey uh I was wondering…”
“Yes,” I automatically said.
“You didn’t even hear what I had to say, haha,” he said.
“Okay, then shoot,” I said smiling.
“Well, I was wondering if you’d mind if I took Abigail out… you know on a date,” he said sheepishly.
“What?” I exclaimed.
“If you’d be cool with it, you know.”
“You don’t need my permission. Do whatever you want,” I said my face turning red.
“Wait, Carter. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it. Obviously you’re not. Don’t worry, I won’t ask her,” he said putting his hands up for surrender.
“Why would I care? It’s not like we’re together,” I said defensively.
“You think I don’t know that. God, Carter. It’s killing me from the inside out. I’m dying without you. But I gotta move on.”
I stared at him for a long time before saying, “Today, I received a very large teddy bear from a secret admirer. It said to meet me by the stairs at 11:00 AM. I hoped to God it was you, Blane. I hoped to God.”
He stared at me for a long time before grabbing my face and tracing my jawbone with his thumb.
“I don’t know what you want me to do anymore, Carter,” he said looking into my eyes.
“I want you to love me,” I whispered.
“I never stopped,” he said.
He kissed me and after we hugged in the vacant hallway for a long time. Then, hand-in-hand, we walked back to Chemistry.
