I Won't Break

The Plan

Hola tis the season for more chapters
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I laid in my bed, I knew if I tried to leave he would just find me and probably punish me. I remember his cold words, I also remember how I can't leave the room until he comes for me.

How could he say all those things to me, why of all people did he have to do this shit to me, why did I still care for him...

I swear to god I have Stockholm syndrome well at least I'm aware of it. Why does his toughness towards me turn me on? I love how he makes me feel weak when I'm usually strong, he brings out the sides in myself that I don't want to see nor anyone else, why do I like that?!

I toss a pillow onto my face and scream into it "What the fuck is wrong with me!" Why do I need him? No I just tell myself that I do but in reality I can handle myself. This is such a toxic relationship I should get away while I can before I get too sucked in.

But I can't leave, I'm trapped, if I tried he'll come for me, he always finds me. Maybe if I leave at night while he's sleeping I'll be able to get away but I don't know when he sleeps or if he sleeps at all!?

Then a plan unfolded in my mind, well their is one way I'll know if he's asleep obviously I'm going to love it but I'll refuse to enjoy it. If I succumb to him I'll gain his trust again and overtime it'll become more believable that I would want to sleep with him and after that sex session I'll have my fill of him and hopefully I won't be bad shit crazy about him like I am now and I can just leave and forget this place.

Yeah I know I'm against sleeping with guys who have a bunch of wives but it's not like I'm losing my virginity to the guy that's long gone besides if it's my ticket out of here then I'm taking that risk I'm just hoping he doesn't have any STD's at this point. Luckily for me when I see his junk I'll be able to tell if he does if I see any abnormalities.

I shiver at the thought of how big he could be, my face burned up. I scream into the pillow again embarrassed "STOOOPPPP!" I shake my head. I lift the pillow off me and get off the bed. I went over to the mirror.

His words flow fresh into my head fat. I look at myself but I just don't see that at all. Obviously he's lying all I see is the hard work I put into this body. I smile then I remember those last words he said but they were probably not meant for me to hear "I hate to do this to you". I don't think he meant the shit he said and that he just has a bad temper.

Flashbacks of the time we almost did it in that hotel room during our supply run ran through my head. I remember the look on his face of having me almost naked he thought I was beautiful. Deep down I know he still thinks that and he's just frustrated that I won't give in.

Well I'm fucking Santa Claus cause his wish is about to come true. That reminds me it's December...I miss Christmas. I miss celebrating the holidays. Ahh focus no time for holidays anymore gotta focus on surviving, I need to focus on this plan.

I need to stop worrying it'll work out fine and if I get out of bed and he notices then I'll tell him I need to use the bathroom it's just as easy as that and he'll go back to sleep. I hope I have good acting skills cause god I hate letting him "win" this even though in the end I'll be the one laughing.

I just don't know how long this is gonna take me to do since I have to earn his trust back and make it all seem believable that I want to sleep with him cause he knows how hard headed I am. Well hopefully it'll just workout I just have to time it correctly of when I should make that move I can't do it too early or he'll know I'm up to something I have to make sure he fully trusts me before doing it.

Ugh I have no patience at all, I'll gain some after this plan though. Where am I going to go after this? Maybe back to the city since their was still a lot of supplies their that I could take. If the city plan doesn't work out, I'll just roam like I had done before joining that one group. Man I miss those days of just surviving on my own, making the decisions, and just not having to worry about anyone else.

It was much easier back then and after this I won't be joining anymore groups cause fuck that shit, groups don't work out, you end up losing people and eventually everyone will be gone. Everyone has a time limit including myself. I'll eventually get trapped somewhere and end up being torn to pieces...it's just a matter of time.

Until then I'll try my best to avoid that and live as long as I can. I shiver at the thought of being torn apart, I wonder what's on the other side anyway? I shake my head, no I don't need to worry about that for a little while.

I look back up into the mirror my grey eyes piercing into themselves. Yeah I don't fucking know what he was talking about I'm gorgeous. I decided to flex in the mirror my abs bulged causing me to smile. My ass was plump, I dropped in the mirror and I began laughing at myself "god I'm becoming a stripper" my smile faded as I looked back into the mirror.

Negan's face was staring back at me, my face went red, did he just see all that? Negan was just standing there smiling "don't let me disrupt what you're doing carry on" he licked his lips. Fuck he did see me, well at least it's not a tense atmosphere. I took a deep breath time to begin this plan and I think I'll call this plan One night stand.

I giggled cause that's basically what I'm doing to him. I turn to face him, "enjoyed the show" as I look down at his hard on. He just smiled "too bad it's over" I smiled "I'm just getting started"
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Happy Holidays ❄️☃️🎄🎅🏻🕎